


You held me and swore

by Leshy



Series: Awakenings [3]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Christine Canigula, Christine centric, M/M, Magical Realism, Multi, Trans Jeremy Heere, established boyf riends, eventual queerplatonic jeremy/michael/chrisitne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-10 21:05:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12307788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leshy/pseuds/Leshy
Summary: Christine isn’t worried about change in the beginning, because honestly? What was there to change. Michael and Jeremy were Michael-and-Jeremy long before she ever met them, so it’s not like this is going to make everything different. Is it?-I'd recommend reading Until He Burns before reading this, just so things make a little bit more sense





	1. Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> SO A LOT HAS BEEN HAPPENING IN MY LIFE (competition, hospital, deadlines, work, etc)  
> which is why this is coming along so slowly  
> but i wanted to at least get the first chapter out so that it's clear i haven't abandoned it, and also so i'll feel more compelled to finish it, cus i really really do want to finish this  
> this is the third and final work in the series, and i'm p excited abt writing it cus i've wanted to write somehting a bit more christine centric for a while plus now i get to explore established!meremy a bit more as well, cus i feel like all i've been writing is them getting together

‘’Is he okay?’’ Michael asks, desperation in his voice, in his eyes, in the set of his shoulders. Christines chest feels too tight, her breath coming too short.  
‘’He’ll be fine.’’ Brooke promises, a gentle air about her, even as the void still clings to the edges of her being. It quickly fades away, leaving her to be just Brooke once more. Pastel yellow cardigan draped over her shoulders like a regal cape. Then she drops into the chair beside Chloe, and then that vanishes too. She’s just a teenager curled up next to her friend, waiting for her other friends to be okay again. Christine sighs, gets up from her seat across from the other three girls, and heads over to Michael. He stops pacing as she approaches, turns to face her. She opens her arms and he falls into them gratefully. It’s a slightly weird angle, what with him being almost half a head taller than her, but he slumps over until he can bury his face in the folds of her scarf. He clings to her, and she clings back.  
‘’I don’t think I can live without him, Chris.’’ he says, whispers, into her scarf. Close enough to her ear that only she can hear it. She tightens her hold on him, steers him towards the chairs and guides him down. He hasn’t sat down since they came almost an hour ago, waiting for Jeremys condition to stabilize before they can go see him. It shows as he collapses into the chair gratefully. She sits down next to him, and his head is back on her shoulder in no time.  
‘’You won’t have to, though.’’ she tries to console. They all know, now, after all. Jeremy is Icarus. Michael is the Sun. Silently, to herself, she thinks Jeremy would be worse off without Michael, but she doesn’t dare say it out loud when Michael looks like this. So…lost. Lonely. He gives a dry laugh, his best attempt at something edging on happy since Friday.  
‘’I’m glad I’ve got you.’’ he says, and it wasn’t what she was expecting, but she doesn’t mind. She can be what Michael needs in this moment. Her own worry is silenced as she focuses on Michael, and she’s grateful for the distraction of the painful clenching her heart can’t seem to stop.  
‘’Rich is awake.’’ someone says, rounding the corner. Jake has a bandaid on his cheek, but other than that he’s the one who came out of the ordeal the easiest.  
‘’Can we see him?’’ Christine asks, perking up a little. One of two friends awake and well is good news to be sure.  
‘’Yeah, I actually came to get you guys, if you wanna see him?’’  
‘’Of course we do!’’ Brooke almost yells, catching herself at the last minuet and glancing around to make sure she hasn’t awoken the ire of any nurses yet again. They all get up, following Jake trough the long white corridors of the hospital. Michael slips his hand into Christines, she squeezes it reassuringly.

‘’Rich!’’ Brooke nearly yells as they close in on the bed containing said teen. She flops down at the end of the bed, a few other people in the other beds give them curious looks, but quickly dismisses them.  
‘’Brooke!’’ he answers her, quieter but with just as much enthusiasm before turning to the rest of the group.  
‘’Hey guys.’’ he greets them, smiling. He seems like nothing’s wrong, but the set of his shoulders and the dark bags under his eyes are dead giveaways to how tired he truly is. How exhausted the outpour from his core has left him.  
‘’Hey dude.’’ Christine says, settling down on the edge of the hospital bed, next to Brooke. She’s still holding onto Michael.  
‘’Nobody’s told me anything yet, what happened?’’ Rich asks, looking around at them, Michael shoots Jake a look and he just shrugs helplessly. He’s sitting on the bed next to the one Rich is occupying, Chloe and Jenna on either side of him. The two are also giving him the side eye. Michael sighs as Rich tries to follow the silent conversation. As his eyes travel over their faces once more he seems to realize something.  
‘’Hey, where’s Jeremy?’’ It’s an innocent enough question, but the answer is anything but. Michael tries not to react, but he can’t help it, he winces slightly, tightens his hold on Christens hand on reflex. She squeezes back instantly. Rich has glues his eyes onto Michael, he’s uncharacteristically still.  
‘’What happened?’’ he asks again, quieter, more somber. Seeming to realize the two are connected. Michael glances around at the others, and he knows they’ll leave it to him to tell.  
‘’I noticed the fire, and we knew you and Jake had PE so yeah, we rushed over and then Brooke said you were still inside so I went in to get you out.’’ he starts off, he remembers it with clarity. Stumbling around in the raging fire, seeing the flames eat away at his clothes but not feeling a thing. He remember spotting Rich on the floor. He remembers taking the first few steps closer. Then he remembers lilac, and a chill colder than death washing over him. And then there had been black, nothingness. Brooke. Jeremy.  
‘’Grace from the nurses office used an extinguishing spell and well that’s kinda bad news for me? Since I’m basically made of magical fire or whatever. And Jeremy knew that so he kinda rushed in after me and found me kinda dead on the floor.’’ Michaels voice is starting to waver, and he realizes it’s the first time he’s really taken a step back and looked at the situation, and it’s kinda fucked up. It’s kinda all sorts of fucked up. He can’t look at Rich so he starts shifting his gaze around, reaches a hand up to push his hair back out of his face from where it’s fallen.  
‘’And then! Then it turns out he’s Awakened and he’s Icarus, and that’s why he’s been acting so weird this past week, so when he tries to save my life he just starts fucking burning from the inside out.’’ Michael lets go of Christines hand and brings his own hand up to his hair to join the other, clutching his bangs as he rants, staring at the starch white covers of the hospital bed instead of making eye contact. His eyes burn.  
‘’But I guess that’s the only thing that saved my god damned life and now he’s in a coma because I guess he loves me or some shit? And I love him so much and I don’t know what to do.’’ he finishes, feeling the first few tears fall. He lowers his hands and pushes them up beneath his glasses to cover his eyes, tries to regulate his breathing. Christine shoots up from her seat and is on him in less than a second, folding his frame into hers, making him feel small and safe against her chest as he desperately tries not to cry. He chokes it back, and eventually the tears stop, it feels like it’s lodged in his throat, but at least he’s not threatening to start openly sobbing in the middle of a hospital ward. He takes a deep breath and emerges from the safety of Christines arms, adjusting his glasses.  
‘’Sorry.’’ he says, because he honestly doesn’t know what else to say after all that. It had all been a blur of worrying and doctors and waiting waiting waiting. He looks to Christine and finds her eyes a bit misty as well.  
‘’Don’t start. If you start then I’ll start and then we’ll be stuck here for the rest of the day.’’ he tells her, laughing lightly. Christine cracks a small smile, and luckily doesn’t let any tears fall.  
‘’Holy fuck dude.’’ Rich says, eloquently. Michael laughs harder.  
‘’You can say that again.’’ he says as he catches his breath.  
‘’Holy fu-‘’ Rich starts,  
‘’No.’’ Michael cuts him off swift and decisive, and that sends the rest of the group into their own fits of laughter. As they all calm down the air about them seem lighter. Michel can still feel that he’s been crying, but at least the lump is gone. At least his heart is lighter as he’s surrounded by his friends. Then again there’s a very big very Jeremy shaped hole by his side that constantly demands his attention no matter how many times he tells himself it’ll be okay. It’ll be okay soon. Jeremy will wake up, and then they’ll talk, and it will be okay. Because Jeremy loves him, and he loves Jeremy. Christine nudges him.  
‘’Back to earth, Sunshine.He’ll be fine.’’ she tells him, the smile clear in her tone. He can’t understand how she can be so strong in this situation. He knows she’s as distraught as he is, he can tell she is, but she doesn’t really show it as much as he does. He thought he was better at hiding his emotions to be honest.  
‘’I know.’’ Michael sighs, leaning against her again, just for the comfort, for the safety of it. She puts her arm around him, to tell him she’s not going anywhere.

‘’You’re the ones who were waiting on news about…’’ the nurse pauses, checking her clip board,  
‘’Jeremiah Heere?’’ she asks, looking back up at the small gaggle of teens camped out on the two hospital beds pushed together.  
‘’Yeah, that’s us.’’ Michael answers immediately, already moving to get up, hand clutching Christines sleeve.  
‘’He’s not awake yet, but his condition is stable, and you can see him if you’d like. His dad has been by and said it’s okay.’’ she tells them, and motions for them to follow her. They all get off of the beds and file after her, the previous conversation having died down in favor of the quiet anticipation thrumming trough them all. The last image Michael has of Jeremy is his face, burned and cracking, Michaels own name on his lips as his eyes close. As he pitches forward. Christine pries his hand off of her sleeve so she can grab it properly again.  
‘’It’s okay.’’ she tells him, voice soft and reassuring.  
‘’I don’t know what I’d do without you.’’ he tells her earnestly. She doesn’t respond for a few seconds, so he turns to look at her. She’s smiling softly, her black hair framing her face perfectly, eyes crinkling at the corners.  
‘’That goes both ways.’’ she tells him, looking away again.  
‘’I think I’d have collapsed from worry by now if it weren’t for you.’’ she says, giving his hand a squeeze. He knocks his shoulder lightly against hers, but says nothing more. The nurse comes to a halt in front of an inconspicuous door.  
‘’This is it, visiting hours are over at seven. No loud noises or disruptive behavior.’’ she tells them, short and to the point, before turning and heading back down the way they came. Rich sticks out her tongue at her.  
‘’Ready?’’ Christine asks them, but her eyes are on Michael. He takes a deep breath, then nods. Christine opens the door. Jeremy looks…better than he did last time Michael saw him. Or, less worse might be a better term to use. There are still faintly growing cracks running up his arms, charred skin looking even more severe where they rest against the stark white bed covers. The lower half of his face is mostly black, orange lines running up his cheeks and down his jaw. The biggest one runs from the top of his lip on the left, up towards his eye. It looks like the worst case of a split lip any of them have ever seen. There are no bandages, no stitches. Only an IV and a heart monitor. It beeps softly, regularly. Christine takes a step into the room, then another, then she’s dragging Michael in behind her. There are seven chairs, and she suspects Mr Heere had something to do with that. Three on the side closest to the door, three on the other, and one facing the foot end of the bed. She direct Michael to the seat closest to Jeremy. Michael moves completely, as if in a trance. He can’t take his eyes away from Jeremy, she notes, but doesn’t comment on. She sits down next to him, takes his hand again. She knows he’s scared of touching him, even if he might want to do so. She reaches out her own hand, tentatively, and lays it on Jeremys unmoving hand. It’s…warm. Uneven. Like the charred surface of a log. She runs her thumb across the ridges, trying to ease her own worry. Mirrors the motion on Michaels hand as well, to try and ease his. Brooke settles into the seat across from Michael, silently. Chloe next to her. They don’t reach out to him, but Jenna does. As she sits down in the final seat on the other side of the bed she lays a hand on one of Jeremys covered legs. She just lets it rest there, and Christine can understand why. Jake settles down next to her, and Rich plops down in the final chair at the end of the bed, letting his torso hang of the metal railing and his head rest on the stiff sheets. They’re all silent, waiting for something, someone, to break it. But she has a feeling that what they’re waiting for won’t come just yet.

Christine is humming softly, the melody of Weird Autumn flowing gently form her and filling the silence, as Mr Heere enters the small hospital room later that afternoon. He ushers them all home, promises of keeping them all updated, a certain stern fatherly concern about him that sends them on their way. Christine gets in the car with Michael. He sits there for a moment, silent and unmoving in front of the wheel. She says nothing, because she doesn’t need to, just lays her hand in-between the seats and waits for him to make the next move. He does. His hand is cold and clammy.  
‘’I know he’ll be fine, but what about afterwards?’’ he asks her with the sort of tone that tells her he’s putting his faith in her answer. And for a moment that thought seems scary, but it passes, and he’s only a teenager asking his friend for advice in his moment of need. And she tells him what she’s been thinking this whole time.  
‘’What about it?’’ she asks, but it’s not really a question, it means ‘there isn’t anything special about afterwards’. He looks at her, finally.  
‘’You and Jeremy have been trough a thick and thin, and it’s always been obvious that you sorta belong together. So what if it was in a different way than you expected? It doesn’t matter. You’ve got each other, does that mean anything has to change?’’ she asks him, gesturing with the hand he isn’t clutching. He looks lost for words, endlessly drifting inside his own head, and she waits for the tide to bring him back to her. Lets it run it’s course. He blinks, glances out the window, back at her. He smiles.  
‘’No, I guess it doesn’t.’’ he says, and she grins back at him, leaning forward to pull him into a hug.  
‘’I know we keep saying he’ll be fine, but so will you, you’ll both be okay in the end.’’ she tells him sincerely, it’s made easier by not having to look him in the eyes as she says it. His arms tighten around her momentarily before he lets go, and she pulls back. Michael puts both hands on the wheel.  
‘’What would I do without you?’’ he asks her, and it’s a rhetorical question, but deep inside he knows that in this moment he wouldn’t have been able to go on without her there. She smiles, crooked and with furrowed brows, in a way that makes him think she might know just how much he’s needed her these past couple of days. Needed her secure and steady presence. He makes a mental note to make sure he tells her just how much he appreciates it, in one way or another after everything has settled back down. In the meantime he hopes she finds solace in his presence like he has found in hers. It’s the least he could offer.  
‘’Do you want me to stay over?’’ she asks him, but he shakes his head.  
‘’Nah, go home and get some rest.’’ Michael says, finally turning the key and starting the car.  
‘’Okay, but you’ll text me if there’s anything.’’ Christine says, settling back in her seat and watching as Michael pulls out of the parking lot and not the road.  
‘’Of course, I’ll text the group if Mr Heere says anything.’’ he says, switching on bis turn signal. Christine looks back at him with a stern face he can’t actually see, but he hears it clearly enough in her voice.  
‘’No, text me if you need anything.’’ she insists, and he smiles. Lets the words hang in the air between them for a little. He spots an opening and tuns the car onto the road.  
‘’…I will. Same for you.’’ he tells her, turning to look at her as he finishes the turn.  
‘’I know.’’ she answers, smiling.

He drops her off at her house, with the same promise of availability trough texts, and then the car is disappearing down the street. Christine feels a hole in her chest open up slowly, as if it’s caving in on itself. Crumbling to pieces. It happens sometimes. When she’s been hanging out with friends all day, and then suddenly they’re gone and she’s alone, and then that loneliness tries to eat her up from the inside out. She ignores it. Turns around and heads inside.  
‘’I’m home!’’ she shouts. Her mother calls from the kitchen,  
‘’Hi sweetie! How’s Jeremy?’’ Christine toes off her shoes and hangs her jacket up.  
‘’Still asleep, but okay.’’ she says, walking trough the living room to get to the kitchen. Her mom is emptying the dishwasher, so she goes to help.  
‘’That’s good.’’ is all she says before the two of them continue to silently empty the clean dishes, placing them in various cupboards and drawers. It’s a quick job with the two of them, and soon the dishwasher is empty once more.  
‘’Are you hungry?’’ her mom asks, but Christine shakes her head no.  
‘’No thanks, I’ll just head up to my room.’’ she says, and her mother looks worried for a second.  
‘’You can talk to me if there’s anything.’’ she says, tucking a strand of her glossy black hair behind her ear. Christine smiles.  
‘’I know.’’ she answers, and walks out of the kitchen. It’s not that she doesn’t want to talk to her mom, it’s just that she doesn’t know what she’d say. How she’d explain all of the confusing emotions. She just doesn’t know how to put them into coherent sentences. How do you condense a raging hurricane into one single understandable puddle. Christine sure doesn’t know how. She sighs, closing her bedroom door behind her and collapsing on the bed. It’s not too late yet, only about 4pm, but she feels so tired, so drained after everything. She fishes her phone out of her pocket.

To Mellow:  
You get home safe?

From Mellow:  
yea, fuck i’m so tired

To Mellow:  
Same

To Mellow:  
We should plan something

From Mellow:  
??

To Mellow:For after he gets out of the hospital

To Mellow:  
Like a hang out or a party or just something

To Mellow:To like cheer him up, or cheer us all up or yea

To Mellow:  
Something 

From Mellow:  
that’s a p good idea, he’s probe p tired after all this so we should do a thing us three

From Mellow:  
We could go to the beach?

To Mellow:  
Isn’t it a bit cold or that?

From Mellow:  
we don’t have to swim or anything, but jerms said he liked the sea, his dad took him a couple years back, I could drive us out

To Mellow:  
Sounds nice!

From Mellow:thanks again

To Mellow:  
You too <3

From Mellow:  
<3

Christine closes her phone, her heart a little lighter as she taps the play button on her iPod. The soundtrack to Shrek The Musical starts up and the notes of Make a Move fill the silence of her bedroom. She lets the music take her away as her heart grows lighter and lighter, filling with joy and forgetting the sadness. Her chest doesn’t feel as restricted anymore. The speakers on her desk thump softly as she dances around her room, finally collapsing in the beanbag Michael and Jeremy and gotten her last year. It’s a lovely shade of dark green, and she stares up at her blue panted ceiling, the sun shaped lamp, the white blobs of paint mimicking clouds. She hums a few bars, closing her eyes and trying to focus on the future rather than the present. On chilly winds and salty air, sand beneath her feet and her two best friends at her side. She sighs deeply.

She’s lying in bed, enjoying a silent Sunday morning when her phone gives off the tinny sound of Link screaming, and it startles her enough that she nearly falls out of bed. But the sound can only mean one thing and she quickly checks her phone.

From Mellow:  
he’s awake, headed over there now

She’s out of bed in record time, pulling on clothes haphazardly and almost stumbling over herself to pull on her jeans and pocket her phone at the same time. She makes sure to brush her teeth and run her fingers tough her hair before bounding down the stairs.  
‘’Mom!?’’ she shouts, knowing that her mother is already awake and doing…something or other probably.  
‘’Living room.’’ her mother calls back, and Christine dashes to the sofa where her mother is sitting, watching some sort of tv show. Christine really doesn’t have time to check.  
‘’I’m going to the hospital.’’ she says, or tries to, the words are a bit rushed, slightly garbled, but her mother understands her all the same.  
‘’I’ll drive you.’’ she says, and Christine is in the hallway before her mother has even risen from the sofa, pulling on her shoes and jacket. Practically bouncing on her toes, she watches as her mother pulls on her jacket and makes sure he has her keys and wallet. She tries not to urge her on, but her face gives her away as her mother glances at her. She smiles,  
‘’I know you’re impatient, come on.’’ she gestures to the door and Christine is out and waiting but the side of the car in record time. She feels like she’s six again, waiting for her mom to drive her to the park or something, but she’s so excited she can’t even feel sorry for it. She keeps bouncing a little with her hand on the doorhandle, waiting for the car to be unlocked. Her mother clicks the button as she laughs a little, and Christine opens the door and slides into the seat in one fluid motion, buckling herself in as he mother opens the other door. She starts the car and backs out of the driveway.  
‘’Make sure to say hi from me.’’ her mom says as they drive along the rows of houses, out of their neighborhood.  
‘’Of course.’’ Christine says, a little more loud than necessary. Her mother only smiles. The drive is short and uneventful, and soon Christine is jumping out as her mother stops the car in the drop of zone.  
‘’Text me if Michael can’t drive you home.’’ she says, and then she’s off, back home to her tv shows. Christine heads for the entrance, not seeing anyone yet. She pauses outside the entrance, not seeing any familiar faces inside she sweeps her gaze across the parking lot once more. Her eyes catch on a familiar sigh. Michael is clutching the wheel of his car, if he hadn’t driven her home yesterday she wouldn’t have been able to tell he’d gone home at all. She sees his eyes flicker towards her and waves, her arm high in the air. He gets out. She’s ready to talk his ear off, ready to suggest he heads in as she waits for the others, but he comes to a stop right next to her, facing out towards the parking lot. Makes no move to go inside even as he glances over his shoulder every few seconds. He wants to go in, she can tell, but she can also tell that something’s keeping him back. That he’d rather they go in as a group than go in alone. She can’t even begin to understand exactly why, but doesn’t question it. Just keeps him company in the chill morning air as they wait for the others to arrive. It doesn’t take them long, and as the others show up the inevitable creeps ever closer. Jenna, the last to arrive, has barely made it to their small gathering before Christine is tugging Michael by the elbow, urging him inside. They walk the familiar way to the hospital room they’d spent so much time in yesterday. The door is closed, Michael reaches out a tentative hand and knocks three times. Mr Heere opens the door, and Christine can peek around him only barely to glimpse the form of Jeremy. Sitting upright in the bed. Eyes open. Very much awake. She resist the urge to jump in glee. Mr Heere turns around to address his son.  
‘’Your friends are here, I’ll give you guys some space.’’ he says, smiling, but Christine notes the dark circles under his eyes, the tense line of his shoulders.  
‘’Thanks dad.’’ Jeremy says, and Christines heart does a pirouette in her chest. Mr Heere walks past them, and she wastes no time practically leaping into the room.  
‘’Jeremy! I’m so glad you’re okay! We were so worried you have no idea!’’ she says, and she’s trying her hardest not to be too loud but it’s very hard. Her arms are around his neck before he even gets a word in edgewise. He giggles a little, voice small.  
‘’Calm down, Chrissy.’’ he tells her gently, and she draws back to get a proper look at him. There’s a thin scar running vertically up his cheek, from the edge of his lips up towards his eye. It’s as thin as a thread and silvery with age. As if it’s a scar from ages ago. Barely visible. She doesn’t dwell on it for too long. Her eyes prickle, she feels her cheeks hearing up, but refuses to cry.  
‘’Sorry, but we were so worried about you. Don’t do that Jeremiah Heere!’’ she mock scolds him. Half-mock scolds him. There’s an undertone of seriousness, a small portion of choked back tears, barely heard. He gets it though, eyes softening a little, a warm smile tugging on his lips.  
‘’I promise.’’ he tells her. The others have piled in behind her, and soon they’re talking over each other, Jeremy barely getting in a word, mostly laughing at their ridiculousness. Rich is gesturing wildly with his arms, but Christine zeroes in on Michael as he finally steps across the threshold. He looks up, and she notices the instant Jeremy catches his eyes. She looks back to the boy in the bed, and yup. Totally zoned out of the conversation at this point. She smiles to herself, and knows they need this moment to themselves. She coughs once, loudly, theatrically.  
‘’I don’t know about you guys, but I skipped breakfast. Wanna grab some food real quick?’’ she suggest to the room of people, two of which are currently very unaware of what’s going on. She looks pointedly between the two, and Brooke catches on first.  
‘’Uuuuuuh, yeah!’’ she says, pulling Chloe along after her, who looks a little lost until her eyes land on Michael.  
‘’Come on.’’ she says too, indicating for the rest of them to follow. Christine waits by the door, watches as Rich elbows Michael deliberately and gives him a wink. Christine rolls her eyes, but waits by the door until the others have made their way out. She glances back one final time, and feels in her should that it’s all gonna work out just fine, before closing the door after them.

Christine gets a pastry from the hospital cafeteria. It was true that she’d skipped breakfast. In her hurry and excitement after receiving the text, it had completely slipped her mind, but now that she’s thinking about it she is kinda hungry.  
‘’Do you think we should head back soon?’’ Chloe asks, arms crossed. Brooke hands her one of the two coffees she’d purchased, and Chloe takes a grateful sip.  
‘’They probably won’t need long to sort it all out.’’ Christine says, taking a bite of the pastry.  
‘’Should we head back then?’’ Jake asks, and Christine nods. They make their way back but she gestures for them to pause before they open the door, she leans in and tries to listen.  
‘’I can’t hear anything.’’ she tells them, she shoves the last bite of pastry in her mouth before slowly and as quietly as possible opening the door. What greets them is probably the cutest thing Christine has ever seen. It’s not the first time she’s seen the two cuddle, by far, but after everything that’s happened it certainly is one of the best outcomes. Rich pumps his first in the air and it’s a struggle to keep her laughter at bay, because she couldn’t agree more. She whips out her phone to take a few pictures, beaches this historic moment clearly needs to be documented. She hears Brooke giggle in the back, and then Michael shifts. She freezes in place, watching as Jeremy settles down again, making sure the two boys are asleep. They’ve earned some rest. She nods towards the door and the others take then hint to leave them alone for now. She closes the door behind them once more, and breaks into giggles with the other.  
‘’Oh my god.’’ Jenna says, exasperated and fond all at the same time. Christine brings her hands up to try and stifle it better, but to no avail. Mr Heere rounds the corner to find the gaggle of giggling teens outside the hospital room.  
‘’What’s going on?’’ he asks them. Christine catches her breath to answer.  
‘’Michael and Jeremy fell asleep on the bed. I think we’re gonna head to the cafeteria to hang until they wake up again?’’ she glances at the others and receive nods in reply to her plan.  
‘’They deserve some rest.’’ she finishes, looking at Mr Heere. He nods.  
‘’If he asks for me I’m just gonna head back home to pick up a change of clothes for him, and I need to talk to the doctors some more.’’ he tells her. He makes as if to walk off, but stops at the last second.  
‘’Watch out for him?’’ he asks them, but his eyes are on Christine. And it seems a simple task. She’s practically been doing it already, that’s what friends are for, but it feels more important. Being said like this. Here and now. She nods. Mr Heere smiles again before finally turning and walking off. She turns to the others and together they head back to the cafeteria.

‘’So Michael and I were thinking we should go to the beach one day.’’ Christine says. Michael and Jeremy are sitting on the hospital bed with her, Jeremy in the middle. The others have gone home, assured that Jeremy too will head home soon, and show up at school on Wednesday. Jeremy has changed into his own clothes, practically drowning in the oversized sweater and looking perfectly happy with it. One of his hands is intertwined with Michaels, and the other with hers. They’re waiting for Jeremys dad to come back from his final talk with the doctors.  
‘’Isn’t it a bit cold for that?’’ he asks, and Christine giggles.  
‘’That’s what I said.’’ she tells him, looking to Michael who gives a little laugh of his own.  
‘’And I said we don’t actually have to go swimming or anything.’’ he counters.  
‘’I just remember you saying you really like going with your dad, and I figured it would be a nice mini vacation after all…this.’’ he says, gesturing vaguely to the room around them to indicate everything that’s happened the past couple of days. Jeremy hums in agreement.  
‘’It would be nice.’’ he says a bit dreamily, leaning his head on Michaels shoulder. Michael smiles at Christine over his curly head.  
‘’Then it’s settled.’’ she declares, and Jeremy weakly raises his hands, still holding onto his two best friends, and gives a small but still excited,  
‘’Woo.’’ Michael and Christine can’t help the laughter that it brings forth, and soon Jeremy is laughing along too.  
‘’Can we make it a picnic? And it’s getting dark pretty early now so maybe we could stargaze?’’ he asks them, and Michael is nodding even before he makes eye contact with Christine.  
‘’Of course.’’ she says.  
‘’We can drive out around noon and make a day of it.’’ Michael agrees, and Jeremy smiles to himself.  
‘’Nice.’’ he says in victory, and Christine giggles again. The door opens, and Mr Heere steps back in.  
‘’Hey kiddos.’’ he greets them, and receives a small chorus of ‘hey’s back.  
‘’Ready to head home?’’ he asks Jeremy. He raises his head from Michaels shoulder and nods tiredly.  
‘’We’ll follow you out.’’ Michael says, jumping down from the bed, Christine follows and they stand waiting for Jeremy to do the same. Neither has let go of his hand yet. He slides down onto unsteady legs, but catches his balance quick with the steadying hands on either side of him.  
‘’Let’s go.’’ he tells them. It’s a quiet walk, the light from outside grey from an overcast sky, promising rain. They say goodbye to the nurse at the front desk and head out into the chilly evening air. Michael car is parked in the opposite direction of Mr Heeres, so they pause outside the main entrance to say their goodbyes.  
‘’text me when you get home?’’ Jeremy asks Michael, and Christine lets go of Jeremys hand to let them have this moment.  
‘’Yeah, of course.’’ Michael says, smiling. He brings a hand up, caresses Jeremys cheek. Christine watches his thumb trace the thin line of the scar. Down towards his lips. She looks away as Michael leans in. It’s short and sweet, like a goodbye between two people who love each other is. Michael lets go of him and Jeremy steps towards his dad. He turns around half way to wave at the two of them.  
‘’See ya!’’ he says, smile radiating. Face a little flushed and so much more full of life than it had been that morning.  
‘’See ya!’’ Michael and Christine answer in unison, before the turn in sync and start walking towards Michaels car. Christine nudges him a little, giving him a smug look when he glances in her direction.  
‘’Told you.’’ she says. He smiles bashfully, looking away, runs a hand trough his hair.  
‘’Yeah, you did.’’ he answers. The wind rustle the few remaining leaves on the trees gleefully, carrying their laughter and small talk as they walk to the car.


	2. Meeting Jeremy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Jeremy is like opening a door for Christine  
> Suddenly there are people, people she might even call friends, who listen and laugh and joke and talk  
> It's...different  
> In a nice way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lil bit of a background chapter, i wanted to explore how Christine joined the group a bit more, and this is focusing on the very first connection she made AKA Jeremy!!  
> it's a lil short but i didn't wanna drag it on for too long

‘’S-sorry I’m-m la-a-ate.’’ someone says, the door closing with a not so quiet thud.  
‘’Just take a seat.’’ Mr Reyes says, slightly ticked off. Christine turns her head to look at the newcomer, along with the rest of the people at the theatre orientation. He’s a little out of breath and a lot red faced. It’s a newcomer in ever sense of the word. She didn’t see him at introductions before christmas, unlike the other returning faces of cast and crew around her. But hey, fresh blood or whatever. The more the merrier.  
‘’As I was saying,’’ Mr Reyes starts again, forcefully,  
‘’Thanks for coming even though it’s lunch time, we only have a few minutes to go trough the basics, so listen close, I will not be repeating myself.’’ The boy makes his way to the last row with people, sitting down carefully in the vacant seat at the end of the row. Next to Christine. She spares him a glance, and nothing really sticks out to her. His face is riddled with acne and freckles, his hair is slightly curly and a little greasy, light brown. There’s a sheen of sweat on his forehead, and his shoulders are hitched up slightly. His cardigan looks soft, it’s baby blue. She wants to reach out and touch it, check for herself if it’s as soft as it looks. But years of learning social norms holds her back. Her eyes flit back to Mr Reyes.  
‘’Next year we’ll be doing a production of Little Shop of Horrors. Yes this will require singing and choreography, auditions are in august, so make sure to spend spring and summer practicing. Audition packets will be available from next week, come by my office to pick them up.’’ he finishes, he’s about to open his mouth to say more when a girl bursts trough the door.  
‘’Hot pocket break.’’ Mr Reyes says, defeated, and disappears to…wherever.  
‘’Jeremy.’’ the girl, Christine is pretty sure her name is Chloe, says, jogging down the carpeted aisle. She stops in front of the boy next to Christine.  
‘’Chloe?’’ he says, confirming what Christine had assumed.  
‘’It’s Michael.’’ she says, and Christine couldn’t be more confused, but Jeremy reacts as if shocked. He jumps up from his seat, forgetting everything else and following Chloe back out the door. Christine stares after him for a little, trying to think of someone as important to her as this Michael apparently is to Jeremy. If only mentioning him can get him into high gear. He’d even stopped looking so nervous, exchanged it for a far more determined look. Mr Reyes comes back and the strange boy soon slips away from her mind.

The thing is, now that she knows what he looks like, what his name is, she keeps seeing him all over the place. Okay so they go to the same school and they’re in the same year. They even have a few classes together. But Christine had never taken any notice of him before. Now she spots him as he sits down in the same english class as her, as he walks over to a table at lunch, as he wanders the hallways, as he heads to the parking lot at the end of the day. She notices the people he seems to hang around as well, and she’s surprised by who she sees. There’s Chloe, of course. And Chloe is never too far away from Brooke and Jenna. There’s Jake, who everybody and their mother knows, and Rich who’s never far behind him. And apparently, there’s Jeremy. She assumes the last and final member of this odd friend group is Michael. He’s nothing terribly special, if you asked Christine. He sports a red hoodie almost daily, in contrast to the blue cardigan Jeremy seems to favor. A clunky headset, dark curls, dark skin, radiating warmth every time she passes him. She has to assume it’s Michael, because he’s the one Jeremy seems to spend the most time with, they’re always close by each other. It’s only been a week since the lunchtime meeting in the auditorium, but Christine has seen Jeremy every day since then, and she’s just…curious. There’s nothing truly special about him, he’s an average teenage boy, slightly more nervous, a little jumpy, a huge dork from what she can tell. But he’d joined drama, so he could be in next years production. They might have something in common, after all.

‘’You’re Jeremy, right?’’ she says one day, standing next to him at his locker. It’s just the two of them, which is part of why she approached.   
‘’Uh I, uh, y-yeah?’’ he says. His hands are in his locker, probably trying to find a book or something, but she can tell they’re shaking from the slight movement of his arms.  
‘’You were at the auditorium last week, but you left kinda early? I thought I’d just let you know that Mr Reyes said that the sign up sheet will be taken down 30th of September, so if you want to join you should sign up like, at the very beginning of the semester.’’ she’s practiced this line a lot, and delivers it about as casually as she can manage. Which is very casual indeed. She’s a great actor, and has to fight down the pleased smile she can feel wanting to take over her face.  
‘’O-oh, yeah, t-thanks.’’ he says, the corner of his mouth turning upwards. He glances to something in his locker, and then back at her.  
‘’Y-Y-You’re Christi-ine, right?’’ he asks, and she’s taken aback slightly. He knows her name?  
‘’Yeah!’’ she says, excitedly, because knowing each others names is a very important step to getting to know each other. They’re making great progress.  
‘’I saw you in Romeo and Juliet, you’re really good.’’ his eyes are back to avoiding eye contact, but she doesn’t mind.  
‘’Thanks! I love theatre, it’s always nice to know someone else enjoys what I enjoy doing.’’ the enthusiasm in her voice is threatening to overflow as the topic switches over, and she fights to rein it in so it won’t be overwhelming.  
‘’I re-eally li-ike theatre t-too, especially music-cals, which is why I decid-ded t-to join next years p-p-production I guess-s.’’ his hands are moving again, extracting a book from his locker and stuffing it in his open backpack at his feet. His face is turned away, but she can see the frown on his face as he struggles to get the words out.  
‘’Little Shop of Horrors is a show like no other, I’m still wondering what we’ll do for costumes in regards to Twoey.’’ she wonders out loud.  
‘’I’m hoping they’ll use p-puppets.’’ Jeremy says, somewhat offhandedly.  
‘’I mean yeah, that’s what’s the most common.’’ Christine agrees. Jeremy almost freezes.  
‘’I-I was t-thinking more lik-ke, a person d-dressed in black-k and puppet-t-teering, instead o-of like the guy playing S-Seymore holding ti-iny Twoey. Like…Uuuh, h-have you seen Starshi-ship on youtube?’’ he asks her, looking up tough his bangs.  
‘’Starkids! Yeah! I love that one!’’ Christine can feel herself almost vibrating from excitement, she hasn’t met anyone else who’s even heard of them before. And even then it was mostly because of Glee and Darren Criss, and then they hadn’t seen more than the Harry Potter stuff. This is amazing!  
‘’Really?’’ Jeremy looks up at her properly, and there’s a certain spark in his eyes that she hasn’t seen before, as if a mask has fallen away to reveal something. She can’t tell what. Not yet.  
‘’Yeah, it’s a really good idea too. It would allow the other actors to interact with Twoey in a whole different way! We should tell Mr Reyes!’’ she exclaims, already totally on board with the idea.  
‘’O-Oh, I don’t-t kno-ow ab-bout that.’’ Jeremy says, making her thought process halt, she looks at him, the tips of his ears are reddening.  
‘’I could suggest it to him, if you want to?’’ she offers, rightfully understanding his hesitance as nervousness. He nods, giving her a grateful smile.  
‘’Then it’s settled.’’ Christine nods once, decisively. Jeremys hands aren’t shaking anymore as he slowly stands back up. He opens his mouth, closes it. Glances back and away again. Opens his mouth, takes a breath-  
The bell rings. Christine reaches a hand out, touches his shoulder lightly. His cardigan today is navy blue. Like always. Soft. Like she expected.  
‘’I’ll see you around?’’ she asks him, and she beams as he nods just a tad frantically, humming in affirmation. She starts walking away, turns around,  
‘’Bye Jeremy!’’ she says, kinda loud as she walks backwards for a bit, waving. When he waves back she only smiles wider, turns to face forward to head to her next class.There are butterflies in her stomach and a certain nervous energy thrumming under her skin. Like maybe this is gonna be something great. Like she’d felt before going on stage to her death scene. Like this will be a show stopper. A scene stealer. The highlight. Something…amazing.

A couple of days later, she spots Jeremy at his usual lunch table, but unlike other times he spots her too. He raises a hand tentatively, waves, smiling in that shy way of his. She smiles, extends her hand fully up in the air and waves back, her eyes almost closing as she grins. His friends notice. She sees them exchange a few words with Jeremy, before he turns back to her, a light blush covering his entire face. He gestures to the vacant seat. The seven of them are sitting three on each side, Jenna on the end, leaving the final seat at the other end of the table vacant. Like an invitation. Jeremy sits to the left of this spot, Jake to the right. She heads over.  
‘’Hey! You’re Christine!’’ Jake says as she pulls the chair out.  
‘’You’re Jake!’’ she greets him back, plopping down in the seat, smile still firmly plastered on her face.   
‘’Jeremy’s been taaaaaaalkign about youuuuuuu.’’ Rich teases from Jakes right, looking straight at Jeremy and leaning a little across the table. Jeremy, who is very quickly turning a tomato shade of red, swats at Rich.   
‘’S-Shut up!’’ he snaps, and Christine giggles.  
‘’My reputation proceeds me. Good. Means I don’t have to introduce myself.’’ she says casually, trying to convey that she really doesn’t mind that Jeremy’s been talking about her. She really hopes it’s only good things. She really really does. She doubts he’d actually say anything bad about her, but…you never know.  
‘’Only good things, I promise.’’ Jenna says from the other side of the table. Chloe to the right of her and Brooke on the left. They look like quite the intimidating trio where they’re seated, but then Rich falls back into his chair, nudging Chloe who stifles a giggle behind her hand. They’re all pretty…normal, up close. As if a facade has fallen away and here they are. Seven normal kids behind the curtains, no wizards or anything.   
‘’I’ve mostly been talking about the musical…’’ Jeremy trails off, rubbing at the back of his neck and leaning just a tiny bit closer to Michael, who responds automatically and leans in a little himself, so their shoulders are nearly brushing up against each other.  
‘’I’m so excited!’’ Christine exclaims. Rich seems to feed off of her excitement, because he’s practically bouncing in his seat as well.  
‘’It’s the one with the giant man eating plant. From outer space! It’s gonna kick ass!’’ he nearly yells, his lisp taking over as he says ‘ass’, a small flame flickering to life at the tip of his dyed streak. Jenna flicks a finger and a small stream of water soars in a beautiful arc in the air from her cup, extinguishing the small flame before it can burn any brighter.  
‘’Take it easy dude.’’ Jake says, all friendliness and bright cheer. Rich takes one deep breath, holds it, and lets it out slowly.  
‘’I’m cool.’’ he says.  
‘’Ice cold.’’ says Brooke.  
‘’Alright alright alright.’’ Rich shoots back at her, earning a snort and a friendly punch to the shoulder.

This becomes Christines new normal. If she sees anyone of them in the hallways, she learns that she can just walk up to them and start talking, or join in on any ongoing conversations. And they don’t mind. She can just sit down at the lunch table, and they’ll include her in whatever’s going on. Michael offered to drive her home, once he learned she lived in the same direction as him and Jeremy. He even let her put on show tunes in the car. And they didn’t mind that she sang along. Because they did too. It’s…strange. She has friends, of course she has, but they don’t seem to miss her all that much. And they weren’t as tolerant of her weird habits as these new people were. They’d tell her to stop singing, stop ranting, stop twitching, stop moving, stop dancing, it’s annoying, it’s distracting, it’s…not normal. Christine has never minded being, well, she wouldn’t call it ‘not-normal’ but she would call it ‘something-adjacent-to-normal’. Like she always just barely misses the mark. It hasn’t stopped her from making friends, but maybe she hasn’t found the right friends. Her old ones sure don’t seem to miss her all that much. She tries not to dwell on it, because they seem happy to be rid of her, and deep down, she finds she’s happy to have found someone better than them. Now she has Jenna and Chloe and Brooke, who tell her her dresses are cute and her taste in movies is excellent. She has Jake and Rich who will tell her that her hair is pretty and her singing is nice. She has Jeremy who likes theatre just as much as she does. And she has Michael, most surprisingly, who has the same exact sense of humor as her. Almost scarily so. Of course Jeremy also has that sense of humor, but he’s a bit…restrained. As if he’s scared of saying something wrong. She knows how he feels, but most of the time her brain isn’t fast enough, and she can only regret what she’s said instead of worrying about saying it in the first place. But best of all, of anything and everything, they listen to her. They listen to her and ask her questions and she listens in return and it’s so different to be heard. She could cry. She didn’t know she wasn’t being heard before, but now that she knows what it’s like, she never wants to go back.  
‘’Good luck today.’’ Chloe tells her, one Friday afternoon as the gang splits up to head their respective ways. Christine pauses.  
‘’What?’’ she asks, tilting her head to the side.  
‘’You’ve got an audition this weekend, right? Oh, should I say break a leg instead?’’ Chloe places a hand on her chin, looking up as if hard in thought.  
‘’Oh…..uh, yeah I do, break a leg is for theatre though, so good luck is fine.’’ Christine says, still slightly out of it.  
‘’Oh cool. Have fun, see you Monday.’’ she says, and walks away. Christine watches her go. Not used to having her friends remember her throwaway comments about plans.   
‘’Hey Chrissy, you coming?’’ Michael asks her, one eyebrow raised. She thinks he might be asking if she’s okay. She shrugs off the weird feeling in her chest, turns her smile up a couple thousand watts and says,  
‘’Coming!’’

‘’What are you doing for summer break?’’ Brooke asks her as she joins her and Chloe at lunch, it’s still about three weeks away, but Christine is guessing they’re making plans.  
‘’I’m going to theatre camp most of the summer!’’ she says, shaking her hands a little in excitement.   
‘’That sounds fun!’’ Brooke answers, mirroring Christines enthusiasm.  
‘’Is that like a tradition for you or?’’ Chloe asks, taking a sip of her drink.  
‘’Nope. This is the first year my parents said yes when I asked them if I could go, so it’s the first time ever and I’m so excited.’’ Christine says, fast paced and grinning like a maniac.  
‘’Oh my gosh! Congrats! I bet you’ll have a great time.’’ Brooke says.  
‘’Who’s gonna have a great time?’’ Jeremy asks as he sits down next to Christine, Michael taking the final seat on the long side.  
‘’I’m going to theatre camp!’’ Christine exclaims.  
‘’Holy shit that’s awesome!’’ Jeremy nearly yells back, grabbing Christines arm and shaking it a little in his excitement for her. She can only nod, ecstatic, reveling in the joy around her.  
‘’Do you have time for movie night?’’ Michael asks.  
‘’Movie night?’’ she shoots back.  
‘’Yeah, first weekend of summer vacation. We’re planning on camping out in Michaels basement and marathon some movies.’’ Jeremy answers, grinning at her as he slings an arm around Michael.  
‘’I think I’m leaving on Tuesday after, so yeah, I’ve got time. What are we watching?’’ she answers.  
‘’Sweet!’’ Michael exclaims, Jeremy grins, leans in close to her,  
‘’I’m petitioning for a showing of Firebringer because it’s the masterpiece of the century.’’ he stage whispers, glancing at Michael who he knows is listening.  
‘’For the last time, yes we can watch Firebringer, how many times do I have to tell you?’’ Michael says, throwing up is arms in exasperation, but his tone and the fact he can’t keep a smile off of his face clues the others in that he’s only joking. Jeremy brings one hand up to his face and giggles into his sleeve.   
‘’Heck yeah we’re watching Firebringer!’’ Christine halfway stands up from her seat, arms in the air.  
‘’Is it really that good?’’ Rich asks trough a mouthful of horrible cafeteria mac n cheese.  
‘’Masterpiece of the century.’’ Christine confirms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..........yes i'm setting them up to doing another musical together and u can't stop me (it won't be nearly as detailed as 'the sky's gonna hurt when it falls' so don't worry, but i AM a sucker for theatre nerd jerms n it's not gonna stop any time soon)  
>  thanks for reading!!  
> next chapter is already underway, hopefully i'll be posting it sometime next week
> 
> my writing tumblr is @actual-cryptid-leshy and i might be posting some drabbles during the week as i try to fight back writers block, come join me!!


	3. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Road trip to the beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hEY i'm dead   
> i have a cold yet again and i cut my thumb at work leT'S GO  
> sorry for they delay

‘’Beach time!’’ Michael shouts out the open window as his car slows to a halt along the curb in front of Christines house. Jeremy is sitting shotgun, grinning at her from behind Michael, leaning forward slightly so he can see her properly. She hikes her bag back up on her shoulder from where it slid down.  
‘’Bye mom!’’ she shouts over her shoulder one last time, swinging the door closed as her mothers voice drifts out,  
‘’Have fun!’’ right before the door closes with a thud. Christine grins as she practically skips over to the car, opening the back door and swinging her bag onto the other seat before getting in herself.  
‘’Beeeeeeaaaaaaaaach tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime.’’ Christine sings, letting her voice lilt and play, and the boys both whoop and clap as she finishes.  
‘’Oh man I’m so ready I feel like I’ve been cooped up for ages.’’ Jeremy says, smiling excitedly. There’s only a small dent in his upper lip left from the scar. Hardly even noticeable.  
‘’You came back to school last week, dude. You weren’t even in the hospital that long.’’ Michael says, raising an eyebrow and sharing an amused smirk with Christine in the rearview mirror.  
‘’Two days of forced bedrest is enough to make me stir crazy.’’ Jeremy shoots back, and Christine giggles. Michael sighs, still smiling, and reaches a hand over to ruffle his boyfriends messy hair.  
‘’I know that feeling.’’ Christine laments, watching the two with a small grin and excitement vibrating trough her blood. Jeremy turns in his seat as Michael drives away from the neighborhood.  
‘’Did you bring it?’’ he asks her, eyes big and puppy like, and she flips open her bag and digs around for a second before triumphantly pulling out her iPod. She holds it aloft like a trophy and Jeremy reaches out for it. She hands it over with equal enthusiasm.  
‘’Hell fucking yeah!’’ he says, plugging it into the car and selecting the playlist labelled ‘Beach Time’. The first song that fills the air is Under the Sea and Michael gives his best impression of Sebastian to the delight of the other two. Within the first few lines they're all singing along like the worst (best) Disney tribute group.  
‘’I hope you put Mulan on here.’’ Jeremy comments as the first song fades out, Christine smiles knowingly, a certain sparkle in her eye that tells him they've got a lot in store.  
‘’I know you too well not to have.’’ she answers, and Jeremy looks at her like she’s one of the best things on this earth. She might even believe it in that moment too.

The beginning to ‘Freeze your brain’ has just drifted trough the speaker when Michael turns off the road and into the parking lot of a seven-eleven.  
‘’It’s destiny.’’ Christine mock whispers from the backseat, sharing a glance with Jeremy.  
‘’It’s a bathroom break.’’ Michael counters as he shuts the engine off and gets out of the car. Jeremy follows suit and Christine isn’t far behind either. The door gives off a ding as they enter, and Michael beelines for the bathroom.  
‘'I'm getting chips, want any?’’ Christine asks him.  
‘'I trust your decision making, I’m getting slushies.’' he tells her, and then they split and conquer. She picks up two cans of regular salted pringles and one bag of bbq flavored chips, and Jeremy fills one cup with blue raspberry, one with cherry, and one with grape. They reconvene at the cashier where he hands her the grape flavored one with a rushed,  
‘'Take it take it take it!’’ as he power-walks towards her, his two hands grasping the three cups in a weird triangle formation that is slipping quickly. She takes it and he sets the other two down on the counter. He pays for the slush and she for the chips, deliberately leaving Michael out of the transaction since he’s the one driving them all.  
‘’I'm going back out to wait by the car, you coming?’' he asks her, sipping the cherry slushie.   
‘’Nah, I’m gonna check out the magazines, can you take the chips?’’ he nods and grabs the bag with the chips, settling it in the crook of his elbow and picking up the two slushies. The door makes the same little ding noise when he leaves. Christine sips her own as she picks up a magazine and starts scanning the front of it. She goes trough a couple and is skimming the back of a smaller one ominously enough titled ‘It happened to me’ with a picture of three green lights on the front when she feels two arms settle over her shoulders, and then a chin resting on her right one.  
‘'Aliens?'' Michael asks her, and she only nods, taking another sip.  
‘’You got slushies without me?’' he asks, almost scandalized.  
‘'Jeremy has yours, he’s outside.’’ Christine answers, smiling.  
‘’Chips?'' he asks, letting go of her so she can put the magazine down again.  
‘’Yup.’’ she answers.  
‘’Barbecue?’’ he asks, tone hopeful.  
‘’You know it.’' she says, smiling.  
‘’Hell yeah, you guys are the best.’’ he says, grinning as they make their way towards the door. Jeremy is sitting on a bench close to where Michael parked the car, his chin buried in his scarf and the wind gently ruffling his hair.  
‘’Fuck, I'm gay.'' Michael says with feeling.  
‘'Hi gay, I’m ace.’’ Christine answers, snickering. Michael lets out a bark of a laugh.  
‘’This is why I love you.’' he says as they approach Jeremy, apparently now within hearing range.  
‘’You're leaving me for Christine? Understandable.’' Jeremy says, smiling as he holds out the blue raspberry slushie. Michael grabs it and takes a sip.  
‘'Keep him.’’ Christine deadpans, and Michael almost chokes. He coughs a couple of times before he adopts an expression of mock hurt.  
‘’Am I not good enough for you?’’ he asks, overly dramatic and barely keeping his smile in check.  
‘’No one’s good enough for me.'' Christine answers, still deadpan, but the boys can see her eyes crinkling, the only crack in her otherwise perfect facade.  
‘’Damn right.’' Jeremy replies.

‘’Who's ready to get sand everywhere we don’t want it?’' Jeremy asks as the car comes to a stop. He can barely see the ocean from the parking lot, but it's enough to have him excited about it. His eyes are glued to the distant horizon where the gray overcast sky melds with the dark grey blue water.  
‘’Me!’’ Christine nearly shouts, leaning forwards between the front seats, staring out at the ocean much like Jeremy.  
‘'I swear to god if there’s more than like a cup of sand in my car when we’re done here I’m leaving you to the mercy of the seagulls.’’ Michael tells them, enough seriousness in his voice that they know he really does not want sand in his car.   
‘'Duly noted.’’ Christine tells him, leaning back and grabbing her bag so she can hop out of the car. Jeremy isn’t far behind her and she grabs his hand and drags him along towards the beach. The sand looks slightly damp and the sea looks cold and dark, Jeremy halts for a second at the top of the concrete steps leading down into the sand. His eyes are again drawn to the horizon. The vast endless expanse of water. He breathes in deep, smells the salt and the cold and for a moment he feels at peace. Christine squeezes his hand, and his gaze turns to her. She smiles, he smiles back, and then she's pulling him along again, right towards the edge of the water. There aren't really many people here, Michael had found a place that wasn’t a very popular tourist spot, but still nice enough to warrant a visit. It helps that the temperature is so low of course. Michael catches up to them as they reach the edge of the water. He grabs JEremys other hand, noting that they’re already cold from the chilly air.  
‘'Your hands are freezing.’’ he tells Jeremy. Jeremy retaliates by letting go of his hand and reaching for his neck.  
‘'Oh no you don’t!’' Michael says, taking half a step backwards, hunching his shoulders up so his neck is covered by the neckline of his jacket. Jeremy lets go of Christines hand as well, raising his hands in front of his chest and making claw like motions in a, what Michael assumes is supposed to be, threatening manner. Jeremy is about to take a step closer when Christine sneaks her own cold fingers up against the back of Jeremys neck.  
‘’Jesus fucking christ!’’ Jeremy practically yells, jerking away from the startling and rather uncomfortable sensation.  
‘’You reap what you sow.’’ Christine tells him with a crooked smile as she fishes her gloves out of the pockets on her jacket. Jeremy sticks his tongue out at her, but the corers of his mouth are turned upwards.

Michael ducks down quick as lightning and scoops Jeremy up in his arms.  
‘’Argh! Michael! What the fuck!’’ Jeremy screams, flinging his arms around Michaels neck in a poor attempt at stabilizing himself. Michael only laughs and Christine does her best to keep her giggles to herself as she films the two. Jeremy keeps screaming.  
‘’I'm gonna throw you in the ocean!’’ Michael yells in between his laughter, trying to take a few steps towards the where the waves are lazily rolling over the sand. He takes one step, then another, and soon his knees are buckling and he has to put Jeremy down.  
‘'You're too heavy dude.’’ he tells Jeremy in a very serious tone.  
‘’You’re too weak dude.’’ Jeremy tells him in an equally serious tone, feet planted in the loose slightly damp sand and arms still around his neck. Michael cracks first.  
‘'I'm all muscle mass!’' Jeremy exclaims, letting go of him and flexing his arms. Not that it shows trough his navy blue parka. Michael only laughs more, doubling over, and now Christine wanders over and joins them, phone once more in her pocket. Jeremy can barely contain his laughter, and when Christine bends down and hoists Michael over her shoulder in a fireman carry, the dam breaks. She puts him down quick enough, and Michael is still laughing once he’s found his footing again.  
‘’I win!’' she shouts, throwing both arms in the air. Jeremy mock swoons, putting a hand to his forehead.  
‘'Oh miss Canigula! My savior!’’ he says, leaning backwards a little as if he’s about to fall over. Michael reigns in his laughter long enough to say,  
‘’Our knight in shining armor!’’ while grinning like a madman.  
‘'And don't you forget about it!’' she says, slinging her arms around the both of them. They quiet down, left staring out across the grey waters, towards the dark line where the sky meets the sea. It’s a beautiful view. She pats them both on the back and declares,  
‘’I’m hungry.’’ Michaels whips his head around to look her directly in the eye.  
‘’Hi hungry, I'm gay.’' he answers.  
‘’I hate you.’’' Jeremy says.

They find a slightly tall concrete wall, dividing the grassy part from the sandy part of the beach, and settle down on the blanket Christine pulls out of her bag. It’s just tall enough that they can swing their legs. It’s getting darker now, a slightly golden sheen on the clouds closest to the horizon, but no light has been peeking trough the thick layer of grey all day. It’s a nice view nonetheless.The calm silence that has descended after eating is broken eventually.  
‘’I’m glad I'm here with you.’’ Jeremy says, eyes on Michael. It’s innocent enough, but Christine feels an icy spike pierce trough her stomach. He’d said it to Michael, she’s sure he’d meant the both of them though, right? She takes a moment to study them, silently. There's only about ten centimeters of space between her and Jeremy, but Jeremy and Michael are sitting even closer, shoulder to shoulder. Holding hands. Michael resting his head on top of Jeremys. Suddenly those ten centimeters are ten miles. Suddenly she’s an outsider. Suddenly she’s not part of the trio anymore. Suddenly she’s just, there. like she’s intruding on something private. A tender moment between two people who love each other. Something she's not supposed to be watching. Which is ridiculous because they've always been this cuddly. They've always been this comfortable with each other. They've always been this, because she was right, nothing had to change between the two of them. But where does that leave her? The day replays in her minds eye, and where there was no doubt before, it plagues her tenfold. Nothing had changed about them, what had changed in the span of ten seconds was how she feels about it. It’s never bothered her before, but now she feels so…weird. Maybe she shouldn’t have come along after all. The thought solidifies in her head, makes its way down her troth in an uncomfortable manner and lands in the pit of her stomach like a rock. Weighing her down.   
‘’You okay?’’ Jeremy ask her, and she snaps back to the present. Both of them are looking at her, worried. And it only makes her feel even more guilt.  
‘’Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.’’ she says. It’s a legitimate answer. Sometimes she just gets stuck in her own head, and they know that.  
‘’Okay, tell us if there’s anything though.’’ Michael says, finishing the conversation Jeremy had started with her. Another thing they had done long before now, long before this, but now it has a new light. A new meaning. Nothing changes but everything changes anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've missed writing shenanigans, unfortunately the plot demands angst   
> next chapter is something along the lines of chapter 2, but that's the last flashback chapter i promise   
> i've posted one (1!!) entire drabble on my tumblr, and more will probably come as my time to write fic dwindles in the coming months, but we'll see, come join me at @actual-cryptid-leshy   
> and thanks so much for reading!!


	4. Meeting Michael

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever have a friend who you're friends with because you both have a friend in common, but then you spend some time together without that one friend and you realize that they're like?? super cool?? and you guys get along so well??  
> This is that chapter
> 
> and also Little Shop of Horrors!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hEY i didn't expect to be able to write this as soon as i did  
> this weekend i'm staying at my moms place to watch our dog while she visits my grandparents, and I'm so excited  
> it will also hopefully give me some time to write!!
> 
> ALSO spoilers for Night in the Woods?? if u haven't played it what are u doing here?? go play it?? no but for real, i do kinda spoil a plot twist(ish) thing in the game  
> i love that game (i replayed it recently and i'm still emotional)

‘’This seat taken?’’ someone asks from beside her. It’s a quiet voice, and the question is voiced in a way that tells her the asker already knows the answer. She looks up and meets the soft brown eyes of Michael. She smiles, and pats the seat next to her silently, eyes trained on the stage as Jeremy walks to the front, hands gripped in front of him nervously.  
‘’Did he tell you which part he was gonna try out for?’’ Michael whispers to her, and she shakes her head no. Then the question seems to catch up to her.  
‘’Wait, he didn’t tell you either?’’ she asks, tearing her eyes away briefly.  
‘’No.’’ is all Michael gets out before their attention os drawn back to their friend once more.  
‘’A-actually I’m n-not audit-tioning for Seymour. I’m Auditiong for T-t-twoey.’’ Jeremys voice echoes slightly across the auditorium as he forces the words out. Mr Reyes raises an eyebrow at him.  
‘’…Alright. Go ahead. Alex you read for Seymour.’’ he says, skepticism clear in his tone. Michael clenches his fist where sits on the armrest and Christine can’t help but agree. Alex makes his way onstage, script in one hand and a sympathetic look on his face. Christine likes Alex, he’s part of the stage crew and very good at what he does. Very kind. Right now she wants to slap his pitying expression right off of his face.  
‘’Oh boy, here we go again. Look I haven’t got much left! Just give me a few days to heal okay, then we can start again on the left hand?’’ Alex says, reading mostly, eyes scanning across the page. Jeremy has the scrip in one of his hands too, open to the right page, but he doesn’t look at it.  
‘’Feed me.’’ he says, simply. No stuttering and voice clear.  
‘’I beg your pardon?’’ Alex says, eyebrow raising.  
‘’Feed me.’’ Jeremy says again, his own eyebrow raising, voice dead pan and very clearly already done with having to repeat himself.  
‘’Twoey! You talked!’’ Alex reads back, trying for shocked.  
‘’Feed me, Krelborn.’’ Jeremy says, voice as light as the first time he’d said it. Then he drops down.  
‘’Feed me now.’’ he says, angry and dangerous. Christine feels a chill run up her spine. Alex takes a step back.  
‘’I c-can’t.’’ he says, and Christine doesn’t know how much of it is him trying to act anymore.  
‘’I’m starving.’’ Jeremy practically whines, going as far as to stomp his foot a little. Michael snickers from beside her and she can barely hold back her giggles.  
‘’Okay maybe I can try to squeeze some more out. No I can’t! I’m all out. What do you want me to do? Open a vein?’’ Alex asks, not much emotion in his voice but that doesn’t take away the comedic effect of Jeremys over exaggerated,  
‘’Mmm.’’ he raises both eyebrows in time with the sound and Michael covers his moth with his hand.  
‘’I can run to the butcher.’’Alex reads, eyes snapping back to Jeremy as soon as he’s almost-but-not-quite raced trough his line. Jeremy doesn’t leave much room between Alex stopping and him starting, just barely missing making it sound like he’s cutting Alex off like he’s supposed to. Christine can’t blame him, Alex reads kinda quickly.  
‘’Must be blood!’’ Jeremy demands, a cross between a petulant child and a dangerous predator.  
‘’I’m not hearing this. I’m going crazy-’’ Alex starts, and this time Jeremy is prepared, because he doesn’t let him continue.  
‘’Must be fresh.’’ he says, voice low and again that slightly dangerous tone Christine didn’t know he was capable of.  
‘’That’s disgusting.’’ Alex says, kinda deadpan and not at all in the nervous way Seymour is supposed to say it. She laughs, she can hear Michael laugh, and on stage she can see Jeremys face almost crack. Almost.  
‘’Feed me.’’ Jeremy demands once more.  
‘’Does it have to be human?’’ Alex asks.  
‘’Feed me!’’ Jeremy demands again, louder.  
‘’Does it have to be mine?’’ Alex pleads.  
‘’Feed me.’’ Jeremy sings, voice powerful and attention grabbing.  
‘’Feed me Seymour, feed me all night long.’’ he keeps singing. His script is still held loosely in his left hand.  
‘’That’s right boy, you can do it!’’ Jeremy exclaims, a little bit of sway in his hips, a self confident sneer on his face.  
‘’Feed me, Seymour.’’ he sings once more, voice carrying across the auditorium. Christine glances discreetly around at the other auditioning teens, and finds that their conversations have stopped.  
‘'Feed me all night long.’’ Jeremy continues, there’s a slight blush on his face, but Christine can't tell if it's genuine embarrassment or just from the effort. He lets out a slightly maniacal laugh and now she's pretty sure it's at least 40% embarrassment.  
‘'Cause if you feed me Seymour, I can grow up big and strooooong.’' he drags out the final vowel, showing off how powerful his voice is. It hits her then how badly he wants this. He deosn't want to be Seymour because it would be…easy. It would be who everyone expected him to be. And maybe, he would have chosen that route in a different time, when he didn’t have the two people sitting in the seats, watching transfixed right now. She glances to Michael, and sees her own emotions reflected back to her.  
‘’You eat blood Audrey Two! Let’s face it. How am I supposed to keep feeding you? Kill somebody!?’' Alex asks, waving his arms a little, getting into it as the chosen auditioning scene comes to a close.  
‘’I’ll make it worth your while.’' Jeremy tempts, voice beckoning even as his body gives nothing away.  
‘’What?’’ Alex asks, almost breathless.  
‘'You think this is all coincidence?’’Jeremy asks, voice raising and anger surging. It boils right beneath the surface, promising far worse things to come.  
‘'The sudden success around here?’' Jeremy lets the hand holding the script gesture out towards the seats, eyebrow raising and voice a tone of condescending smugness she’s very sure she had no idea Jeremy could do.  
‘'Look, you’re a plant! Ab inanimate object!’’ Alex argues back, no real heat in his voice, eyes trained on Jeremy still.  
‘’Does this look inanimate to you, punk?'' Jeremy practically roars back, anger unleashed. Trying to prove how dangerous he can be.  
‘’If I can talk and move, whose to say I can't do anything that I want?’’ Jeremy continues, tone now low, still as dangerous.  
‘’Like what?’' Alex questions.  
‘’Like deliver, pal, Like see you get everything your secret greasy heart desires.’’ Jeremy goads, persuasive. Almost kind. Still dangerous.  
‘’That's enough, thank you.’’ Mr Reyes says, breaking the spell. Jeremys face heats up even further as Alex gives him a pat on the back and walks off stage.  
‘’Next.’’ Mr Reyes says as he makes a couple of notes on a piece of paper, and Jeremy practically stumbles in his haste to get off the stage. Christine glances at Michael, Michael meets her gaze, and then they get up as one to meet Jeremy outside the auditorium.  
‘'Jeremy! That was amazing!'' Michael says as he crashes into Jeremys left side. Christine glues herself to his right side and says,  
‘'That was a total show stopper! A scene stealer! I didn’t know you could act like that! It’s magnificent.’’ she might be getting a little loud, judging by the glances the other occupants of the hallway, but she doesn’t care. Her heart is singing and doing flips.  
‘'Woah! Guys, dial it down please. I am…going to vomit.’’ Jeremy says, and yeah he looks a little pale now that the red has receded.  
‘'Pffft, nah you won't. Every time you say that you don’t, it’s cool.’’ Michael reassures him, ruffling his hair to Jeremys great annoyance. It does make him smile though.  
‘'Seriously though, you were amazing.’’ Michael says again, voice gone from playful to sincere. The red returns to Jeremys face.  
‘'Michael's right, if you don’t get the part Mr Reyes would be crazy.’’ Christine says.  
‘’He's already crazy.’’ Jeremy shoots back.  
‘'Well he'd be an idiot then.’’ she retaliates.  
‘’He's alre-‘’ Michael begins, but Christine cuts him off.  
‘'Point taken.’’ she tells the two boys with matching grins.

‘'Will you stay and watch my audition?’’ Christine asks them later.  
‘’Of course!’’ Jeremy answers with no hesitation.  
‘’Knock em outta the park, Christine.’’ Michael says, full of confidence on her behalf. She gives them a thousand watt smile and heads over to the line of people on the side of the stage. Michael makes his way back to the seat he had earlier, and Jeremy sits down in the seat Christine had occupied. They lean in towards each other automatically.  
‘’I really hope she gets it, I don’t know of anyone as talented as her at this entire school.’’ Jeremy says. Michael smirks. The first person on stage starts singing.  
‘’You sound kinda dreamy there.’’ he jokes, Jeremys face goes red.  
‘’No!’’ he says, jerking a little, waving his arms. Michael just smiles.  
‘’Chill dude, I know.’’ he says, easing the slight tension in Jeremys shoulders.  
‘’She’s…amazing. And I really want to be her friend, but you know me.’’ he says, voice a little self-deprecating and Michael pokes him in the shoulder just hard enough to be uncomfortable. A reprimand. Jeremy glances at him.  
‘’I do know you, and I know you’re an amazing friend. You just take a little time to come around, and if she can’t deal with that, then that’s her problem. She’s nice, I like her, but you’re my player two, dude.’’ Michael says, he holds out a fist and Jeremy knocks his own against it. A smile on his lips.  
‘’So you like her?’’ Jeremy asks him, a smirk on his face now and this time Michael punches him in the arm.  
‘’You’re talking to they gayest kid in school.’’ he says, produce gesturing to the rainbow flag patch on his arm, Jeremy giggles.  
‘’True. But for real, You’re my favorite person, my best friend, and I think Christine could be a close friend too, so it would be nice if my friends like each other so we could all hang out.’’ he explains, and Michael hums in agreement. The third person to audition leaves the stage.  
‘’I trust her.’’ Michael says, and the weight of it lingers in-between the two of them, in the dark in the auditorium, like something tangible. Jeremy looks into his eyes, and he nods.  
‘’Hi Crystal!’’ Christines voice rings out, and their heads snap towards the stage immediately.  
‘’Hi Ronnette! Hi Chiffon! Am I late? Did I miss it?’’ she asks the other girl onstage. Voice light and a little ditzy.  
‘’ Sure are. And sure did.’’ the girl says, leaving a pause in-between lines to indicate that there are multiple other people supposed to be there instead of just one.  
‘’Seymours first radio broadcast! I wanted to cheer him on.’’ Christine says, voice full of cheer, eyes shining. Then it falls, she casts her glance to the side.  
‘’I tried to be on time but…’’ she trails off.  
‘’Don’t tell me. You got tied up?’’ the other girl asks, and Jeremy is pretty sure her name’s Abbey now that he thinks about it. Christines attention snaps back to her when she speaks, then away again. Her answer hesitant, and all that comes out is,  
‘’Umm…’’ she rubs her arm, the one that will be in a cast in the musical. Jeremy can see it in his mind, Christine in a leopard print top, black skirt. Curly hair. A red belt around her waist.  
‘’Girl, I don’t know who this mess is you hangin out with, but he is hazardous to your health.’’ Abbey reprimands her.  
‘’That’s for sure, but I can’t leave him.’’ Christine admits, sounding small.  
‘’Why not?’’ Abbey asks, her eyes on the script. Christine isn’t holding one.  
‘’He’d get angry! And if he does this to me when he likes me, imagine what he’d do if he ever got mad.’’ she says, gesturing to the arm in the cast.  
‘’So dump the chump! Get another guy, and let him protect you. And we got one all picked out. A little botanical genius.’’ Abbey says, smirking a little. Letting herself go to the role. Christine gives it a moment, lets the penny drop to the floor with a tinkling clatter.  
‘’Seymour?’’ she asks. Eyes big and shining, trusting. The beginnings of hope, of something better blossoming in her face, before it wilts and dies as quickly as it had grown.  
‘’Bingo!’’ Abbey exclaims. Christine waves her off rather adorably.  
‘’We’re just friends.’’ she denies, a pained smile on her face, a smile that shows what she’s really thinking in this moment.  
‘’I could never be Seymours girl.’’ she says, looking down at where her hands are tangled together.  
‘’I don’t deserve a sweet, considerate, suddenly successful guy like Seymour.’’ she lists off, voice dreamy. Then her face goes serious, facing the audience.  
‘’I’ve got a past.’’ she says, and Jeremy bites back a snort. Sees Michael out of the corner of his eye going the same.  
‘’Mm mm mm.’’ Abbey tuts, shaking her head.  
‘’This child suffers from low self esteem. You got a point. And she got a problem.’’ Abbey says, again leaving space in-between the sentences to try and differentiate the characters. Christine takes one step away, towards the front, bringing her hands up in their clasped together position. She stares dreamily up to the high ceilings.The spotlight is trained on her, and she’s glowing. At home in her element. She starts singing.  
‘’I know Seymour’s the greatest.’’ she sings, holding the dream like air about her before it falls to pieces.  
‘’But I’m dating a semi-sadist.’’ she sings, almost sheepishly, picking at her cast.  
‘’So I got a black eye, and my arm’s in a cast.’’ she looks dejected, gesturing to the supposed injuries. A shadow crosses her face, coloring the skin around one of her eyes a dark purple, before it’s gone again. Jeremy tries to blink away the odd glare he seems to have in his eyes. He refocuses on Christine on stage, in the spotlight, a brick wall and staircase behind her.  
‘’Still that Seymour’s a cutie.’’ she sings, giggling a little, and then as if catching herself she amends,  
‘’Well if not he’s got inner beauty.’’ the smile stretches wider across her face.  
‘’And I dream of a place where we could be together at laaaaaaaast.’’ she sings, drawing out the note, looking off into the distance, across the seats, to somewhere else entirely.  
‘’And what’s kinda place is that honey? An emergency room?’’ A voice breaks in, and Christine giggles, falls back the three steps she’s taken forwards, back to Abbey.  
‘’Oh no, it’s just a daydream of mine.’’ she confesses, a small coy smile on her lips.  
‘’A little development I dream off, just off the interstate. Not fancy like Levittown.’’ she say, grimacing, waving her arm as if to wave the thought away.  
‘’Just a little street in a little suburb. Far far away from urban Skid Row.’’ she says, pointed. Her distaste for this place shining trough so clearly.‘’The sweetest, greenist place.’’ she says, voice back to dreamy, eyes back to far off places, no longer hard with unhappiness.  
‘’Where everybody has the same little lawn out front and the same little flagstone patio out back.’’ she continues, building her fantasy world out of thin air.  
‘’All the houses are so neat and pretty…’' she trails off, looking into the audience to make sure they’re having onto her every word.  
‘’Cause they all look just alike!’’ she exclaims, shaking her arms just a little in her excitement.  
‘’Oh, I dream about it all the time. Just me and the toaster. And a sweet little guy.’’ she says, bringing her arms up to hold around herself, swaying gently back and forth.  
‘’Like Seymour.’’ she says finally. Simply.  
‘’A matchbox of our own.’’ she sings again, staring off slow.  
‘’A fence of real chain link.’’ she continues, her voice filling with joy.  
‘’A grill out on the patio, disposal in the siiiink. A washer and a dryer and an ironing machiiiiine.’’ as she lets the final note go it’s as if she springs to life again, taking a few steps out on the stage. Arm raising just a little.  
‘’In a tract house that we share.’’ her voice softens just a little. She clasps her hands together again.  
‘’Somewhere that's greeeeeeeeen.’’ she sings, raising her entertained hands towards her chest, her heart.  
‘’He rakes and trims the grass, he loves to mow and weed.’’ she jumps a little in her excitement, looking to Abbey before looking back out to the audience.  
‘’I cook like Betty Crocker! And I look like Donna Reeeeeed.’’ she sings, striking a pose, one hand gently on her hip.  
‘’There's plastic on the furniture, to keep it neat and clean.’’ she smooths out the top of an invisible sofa, imagining her hands gliding across the plastic.  
‘’In the Pine-Sol scented air, somewhere that's greeeeeeen.’’ she sings, rain her arm a little, reaching for that far away dream. She turns just al little, taking a few steps in that direction as she launches into the next part.  
‘’Between our frozen dinner, and our bed-time: nine-fifteen.’’ she taps her finger in the air as she specifics the time, bright smile on her face, oblivious to everything else as her dream rises in her minds eye.  
‘’We snuggle watching Lucy on our big, enormous.’’ she throws her arms out wide, for emphasis, before slowly bringing them together again.  
‘’Twelve-inch screen.’’ pausing her hands about twelve inches apart. She holds it for a moment, and then brings her hands together.  
‘’I'm his December Bride.’’ she sings, touching her ring finger, toying with a ring that isn’t there.  
‘’He's father, he knows best. The kids watch Howdy Doody, as the sun sets in the weeeeeest.’’ she lets her arms fall, holding around her own waist, and then letting them fall all the way down. Hanging limply at her sides.  
‘’A picture out of Better Homes, and Gardens Magazine.’’ her shoulders slump just a little.  
‘’Far from Skid Row.’’ she sings, voice so soft and tender.  
‘’I dream we'll gooooo, somewhere that's... greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.’’ she finishes, voice holding a trance over everyone in the room. Then she stops, sighs dreamily, and the spell is broken. She’s just Christine, in a jean jacket, on a high school auditorium stage. In the spotlight where she belongs. 

‘’Who’s ready for the ultimate tournament?’’ Michael asks as he approaches Christine and Jeremy where they’re standing in front of Jeremys locker. It’s Friday and Michael is FEELING it. Ready to forget that the hell hole they know as school exists, and just kick back and relax with two good friends.  
‘’Oh uh.’’ Jeremy says, glancing to Christine. She gestures to Michael with her shoulder.  
‘’My dad’s taking me to see my grandma this weekend. Something about family and bonding or whatever.’’ Jeremy says, keeping eye contact for a moment before glancing away again. Michael can tell he’s nervous, so he only sighs. Then he gives Jeremy a warm smile.  
‘’It’s cool dude, we can always just do it some other time.’’ he says, and Jeremys eyes find their way back to his. Jeremy smiles back at him. Michael won’t lie, he’s a little disappointed, and he didn't think it was showing on his face until Christine says,  
‘’You and I can still have an awesome gaming night though.’’ with a cheery voice and bright eyes.  
‘’Uuuhh.’’ Michael says like a genius, then Jeremy elbows him in the ribs.  
‘’Sure! I mean, if you still want to?’’ he says, raking a hand trough his messy hair.  
‘’Of course! I wanna get better at gaming. You can teach me all the tricks so I can hand Jeremys ass to him when he gets back.’’ Christine says, smirking. Jeremy squawks.  
‘’Hey!’’ he says, and Christine only cackles.  
‘’I’ll teach you everything I know.’’ Michael says, Christine pumps a fist in the air and Jeremy buries his face in Michaels shoulder as he groans in defeat.  
This is how Michael finds himself in his basement with Christine. Only Christine. No Jeremy buffer to speak of. It’s not that he doesn’t like Christine. She’s great, if not a little loud sometimes. A little scatterbrained at times, but so is Jake. Michael knows how to handle scatterbrained people. He’s still nervous as shit though. It feels like Jeremy has always been the thing they have in common. Because Jeremy likes what Michael likes, and he likes what Christine likes. Michael has to admit he’s always seen Jeremy as a sort of bridge between the two of them. Or training wheels. Now he’s gone and Michael has to ride this bike all on his own. Hopefully he won’t crash and burn. He’s known Christine for a little over six months now so really, this should be fine. He’s booted up his system and is flipping trough different games, trying to find one he thinks Christine might like.  
‘’Okay, lets do process of elimination.’’ he tells her as he turns to face her. She turns to face him as well, her entire focus on him. He tries not to squirm.  
‘’Do you want a story driven game? One with puzzles? One with a lot of fighting? One with humans? Animals? There are a lot of flavors in the melting pot of gaming.’’ he says, arms gesturing as he clothes the controller. Christine hums.  
‘’Hmm. Story driven? I’m not that into fighting games. I mean it’s fun watching you and Jeremy play them!’’ she quickly backtracks,  
‘’But there’s nothing quite like a compelling storyline.’’ she finishes. He raises an eyebrow, feeling like she’s cut her speech short. As if she’s editing herself in front of him.  
‘’Do you mind supernatural stuff? Like ghosts or monsters?’’ he asks her instead. She nods her head vigorously.  
‘’Yeah! I love ghost stories and scary movies even though I et scared at night when it’s dark and I hear a noise- Wait!’’ she cuts herself off. Michael jerks at the sudden noise, drawing his arms in close. Christine notices.  
‘’Sorry.’’ she says, sounding sheepish, looking ashamed.  
‘’No no it’s fine, you just startled me. What’s up?’’ he asks, trying to get her back on the track she was on before. It had sounded much more like the Christine he was used to. The one who would endlessly ramble to the captive audience that was Jeremy. Jeremy had never liked talking at lengths, he was much more of a listener. Michael suspects it’s because of the stutter, but he never mentions it, because he knows Jeremy doesn’t like talking about it. Jeremy doesn’t like talking about a lot of things, which is why he appreciates people who talk about everything. Like Christine.  
‘’I just, I saw you had Night in the Woods?’’ she says eventually, at Michael glances at his screen. Although he already knows he has it. He bought it. And played it. Like six times. Good times.  
‘’Yeah, do you know it?’’ he asks her.  
‘’No not really. I mean kinda? I met this guy at the theatre camp and he told me about it cus he said he thought I’d like it and it sounded like I would like it when he explained it a little? But then again he also wouldn’t leave me alone after I told him to and only stopped asking me out when I punched him in the face and gave him a bloody nose. Not that I thought I could give people bloody noses but it’s a good skill to have I guess. Hey you’re gay, right?’’ she finishes, throwing Michael for a loop. He stares at her for a second to try and regain his bearings, sees her face start to fall again s she must realize how much she’s been rambling. He hurries up with an answer.  
‘’What gave it away?’’ he asks her with an amused tone, a raised eyebrow, trying to project an aura of warm friendship. She giggles. Success.  
‘’And what does that have to do with punching a guy in the face?’’ he asks her, as his brain seems to catch up to the rest of the sentence.  
‘’Oh, right. So this guy, Matt, kinda started acting like a creep? He was nice at first and I really liked him and I thought we could be great friends but then he asked me out and I said no, but then he kept doing it anyway? And he wouldn’t let it go, so I told him to leave me alone, but he didn’t. So I punched him.’’ she tells him, as if she’s recounting the plot of the latest episode of some drama show. He only nods.  
‘’And you gave him a bloody nose. Nice.’’ he compliments her, and she does a mock bow. Or she does as good of a bow as she can while sitting down, which means placing a hand on her chest and bending at the waist. She straightens up, mirroring his own grin.  
‘’Anyway, that got me thinking. About relationships. Because I’ve known I’m Ace for a while now?’’ she says, eyes darting to him and then away again,  
‘’But then I started thinking about romantic attraction even though I’ve mostly avoided it before and I think it’s cus I’m Aromantic. If you…know what that is.’’ she finishes. Her hands have disappeared up the sleeves of the lavender fuzzy sweater she’s wearing, the material scrunched up form the inside where she’s gripping it tightly. He lays a hand on one fuzzy balled up fist.  
‘’I do know what that is, and I think that if you feel that way it’s legit. And you’ll always have me and Jeremy no matter what.’’ he tells her honestly, a little surprised at how fast and willingly he’s giving his support, but he finds he means it. She looks at him, afce a little ed, but a smile on her face anyways. Then it grows, and she starts laughing.  
‘’What? What’s funny?’’ he asks her, suddenly feeling thrown off and helpless. He’s still kinda holding her hand.  
‘’You’re just as big of a sap as Jeremy.’’ she tells him, and then he breaks too.  
‘’God damn I’ve been exposed.’’ he says in between bouts of laughter. It dies down, but they’re still smiling. Michael removes his hand.  
‘’But thank you, that means a lot.’’ she says anyway. He places an arm around her.  
‘’Anytime.’’ he tells her, sincerely.

‘’They killed Casey!’’ Christine practically screeches, tears streaking down her face as she clutches the controller to her chest. The speech bubble hovers on the screen like an ominous black blur. There are empty bags of chips littered around them, half of a chocolate bar between them, and Christine put on her pajama pants two hours ago. Michael made the switch only about half an hour ago. He’s sitting half on his own beanbag, half on Christines, his side flush with hers. She’s leaning into him as she hangs her head, letting the tears fall. His arm snakes around her. She feels the warmth of him trough her clothes, like rays of sun on a summer day. Like home and joy and happiness. It makes her even sleepier, but it also makes her feel better.  
‘’You’ve gotta click it.’’ he tells her gently once she’s calmed down. The dialogue option is still there, waiting for her. Mocking her. ‘Casey?’. She selects it. Her eyes scan across the words quickly, and she can feel herself getting angrier and angrier.  
‘’We did him a favor!?’’ she almost yells, taking care not to raise her voice too much so as not to scare Michael again. She wants him to keep his arm around her, it feels so safe. she keeps going.  
‘’I love Gregg.’’ she says next, as she focuses on the black silhouette of him, aiming his crossbow.  
‘’Same.’’ Michael says.  
‘’Oooooooooh shit.’’ Chrisitne whispers as the screen goes black. Michael tightens his hold around her in anticipation.  
‘’Oh no no no no Mae don’t fall oh my god.’’ Christine continues to whisper. Michael watches on with a strange sort of glee one only gets when they’ve experienced the exact pain and anguish someone else is going trough. Especially when playing video games.  
‘’Wait for it.’’ Michael whispers back. They read on.  
‘’Shapes.’’ they say in unison. They glance at each other, then back to the screen. Silently. On screen the red silhouette of Mae keeps going trough the same motions. ‘I’m gonna down down here’ it reads, and then it fades back to the scene from before.  
‘’I love Bea.’’ Christine says.  
‘’Same.’’ Michael responds. Christine snorts a little. Hits the button to forward the dialogue, as if she’s in a trance. Her face is bathed in the colors of the screen, and Michael thinks he could get used to this new face in this way. This feels…different from all the previous times they’ve hung out. Different in a good way. He really could get used to this.

Christine lets out a heavy breath. The menu theme is playing on loop in the background, the ending of the game still rattles around in her brain.  
‘’Okay.’’ she says out loud for no particular reason other than to fill the silence.  
‘’Okay?’’ Michael asks, peering down at her. She’ laying on her back on the floor. He’s lying next to her on his side, head propped up on his arm so he can look at her.  
‘’Okay.’’ she confirms. Michael fights off a grin.  
‘’Maybe okay can be our always.’’ he says, choking back laughter.  
‘’Fight me, Mell.’’ Christine says. He laughs, collapsing onto his back. Lies there staring at the ceiling next to her, counting the glow in the dark stars. There are sixteen of them. He knows them, knows their placement intimately. It’s the constellation Draco, with an extra star added in as an eye in the square supposed to be the head. Jeremy had helped put them up, and while the placement is rather shoddy, the constellation has always been recognizable.  
‘’I’ve always envied how relaxed Jeremy is around you.’’ Christine says suddenly. It’s 3 am and apparently a good timing for conversation such as this. As soon as the words are out there, she wants to take them back, but there’s no going back now, so she presses onwards.  
‘’Not the I-don’t-like-you kind of envy, but just…I really like Jeremy, and I really want to be his friend, and I know it’ll probably take time for him to get comfortable, I know that much about him. But I want that same steady connection the two of you have. And I know I’m just being impatient cus connections aren’t built overnight, i man how long have the two of you been friends?’’ she asks, finally turning her head to look at Michael where he’s lying next to her. She finds him staring at her already, afce unreadable.  
‘’Twelve years.’’ he says. She looks back at the ceiling.  
‘’Yeah. That’ll do it.’’ she answers him. He shuffles, and for a second she’s afraid he’s gonna leave because she’s made him uncomfortable, but he just scoots closer to her, his body heat radiating, inviting. Their shoulders are almost touching.  
‘’He wants that too, y’know.’’ Michael says, and it wasn’t what she’d been expecting.  
‘’Jeremy knows he comes off as…untrusting or whatever. He has his reasons. But he likes you, he just doesn’t know where he stands with you. He doesn’t know what’s okay and what isn’t yet, so he’s taking it slow. But I can tell you’ll get there eventually.’’ Michael tells her, honesty in his voice, his presence reassuring.  
‘’Besides, I like you. And while I’m not as hesitant to trusting people as Jeremy, I still have my walls. You swung a jackhammer at them all and took them down in one night. So now you’re stuck with me, and if I’m here so’s Jeremy.’’ he finishes, determined. Christine turns towards him and anchors herself to him, arms wound around his chest and face buried in his hoodie.  
‘’Thanks.’’ she says not the familiar red material. Michael hesitates for a moment, then places his arms around her too.  
‘’Anytime.’’ he tells her, and she trust it for the promise it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's the final flashback over and done with  
> hope you liked the parts from little shop of horror!! i had so much fun writing that, i love that musical!!  
> thanks for reading!!  
> you can always find me on tumblr @actual-cryptid-leshy


	5. Awaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to wake up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO  
> this chapter gets angsty  
> but i promise it'll be worth it (at least i hope you'll think so as well)  
> there's only one more chapter after this!!

She lets them go in fragments. Because in a way they aren’t hers to keep anymore. Sure they’re still her best friends. Sure they’ve cemented themselves as Michael-and-Jeremy-and-Christine now. Sure she knows where she stands with the two of them, after all this time. After all this getting-to-know-you stumbling over each other they’ve undergone. She figured she’d slotted right into the little space they’d carved for her in their friendship. But is it still there? That piece of security she had. The third beanbag, the third can of crystal pepsi, the third controller, the third headset, the third beaded bracelet. Blue. Red. Green. The third wheel. When friendship turns into relationship, does she get left behind? She lets them go slowly, because anymore and her heart would break and she can’t do that to them, not when they’ve found such happiness, finally. She can’t ask them either, because what if she’s just overreacting, and then she’ll freak them out too and then they’ll get self conscious and she can’t color their love with her own desperation and neediness. She loves them too much for that. The distance between them grows, some by her own making, some unknowingly by the two of them. It starts with the little things. Like how they hold hands even when neither of them are nervous. How one will sling an arm around the other even when they aren’t uncomfortable. It’s how they cuddle, and then look at each other, eyes brimming with love, dopey smiles and the sort of bickering that can only be called sickeningly fond. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, one of the first things Christine learned about Michael and Jeremy was that they didn’t shy away from physical affection. At least not from each other. No, what really changes is how she feels about it. Before, she hadn’t really thought anything of it, it was just the way they were, and it made them who they are, and she quite likes them that way. Is why she likes them, honestly. Unlike before, where she could sit by their side as they were mere steps away from sitting in each others laps, now she continuously feel like she’s intruding on something…intimate. Ever since the beach.  
‘’Sorry, I promised my mom I’d spend the weekend with her, I think she’s getting anxious about me going away for college.’’ she tells them, refusing yet another invitation to a sleepover, a hangout session, an after school mall adventure, a ride home. She spaces them out evenly, letting them become more and more frequent as time passes, because she can’t let them catch on. Not until she’s already out of their lives and they’ve moved on. Not until after the rosebush of their budding love has grown across her space, and pulled it back together, as if she was never there in the first place.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Brooke asks her one day, as they walk down the hall side by side. Their shoes clack against the linoleum and the steady rhythm keeps her afloat in a world that has turned every tide against her. Or maybe she’s being dramatic. Whatever.  
‘’I’m fine.’’ Christine says, voice as cheerful as always, smile as shining as ever. Brooke doesn’t buy it. Her skeptical expression conveys it clearly enough.  
‘’They might not realize yet, but they will eventually. You’re a very big part of there lives, Christine. And once they’ve walked long enough on this path for it to be as well trodden as the last, they’ll look behind them and realize you’re not there anymore. And it will crush them. They love you.’’ she tells Christine, voice soft as velvet, cruel as reality. She sees every flicker of silver coursing beneath Christines surface, sees it expanding day by day, reaching. Knows it's close now, and then maybe everything will be right again. Once the three of them figure out this last piece to the puzzle.  
‘’I don’t know, Brooke. They were fine without me, and they will be again.’’ Christine tells her, voice steady, eyes ahead. Chin up, shoulders back, chest out. Walk with confidence. With purpose. Play the part, and people believe you. Say you're fine enough times, maybe you’ll believe it yourself eventually.  
‘’Most things don’t go back to normal after having adapted to something new. In fact, it’s mostly just…harmful. Taking away something crucial.’’ Brooke counters. eyes on Christine even when she knows she won’t be spared a glance. She doesn’t mind. Knows her gaze is a weighty one, not easily ignored. It's not the first time she uses it to her advantage. Christine swallows thickly.  
‘’It’s my decision to make.’’ Christine answers, maybe a little more forceful than she means to, her hands clenching around the strap of her bag. Eyes steely. Brooke keeps quiet for a while, seemingly having let the conversation come to an end as they near the classroom.  
‘’Is it?’’ Brooke asks when the door comes into view. Simple, yet not. It gives Christine pause, but she doesn’t say anything else as they enter the small Sociology classroom, Michael and Jeremy already waiting at the usual table in the back. Sitting shoulder to shoulder, holding hands beneath the table. Only noticing them and turning to wave when they’re already halfway across the classroom. She wants to be angry at them, but finds it in herself that she just can’t fault them for this. That makes her angrier. Angry at herself for not knowing how to figure out her own damn feelings. This used to be easy. The three of them were easy after the initial awkwardness of friendship. As natural as walking, as talking, as breathing, as living. Christine takes a deep breath and keeps walking. It’s her choice to make, it’s her path to tread, it’s her life to lead and her destiny to live. She’s a rational person, she can control her own life, she can decide what’s best for her. What’s best for them all. If she’s already gone when they look back for her, they can’t tell her to leave.

She doesn’t know when it happened. Exactly when these two nerds, these two socially anxious wrecks, when these two wonderfully devastatingly beautifully complex human beings wormed their way into her life and her heart and her soul. Did it happen when she wasn’t looking? Somewhere between the game nights and the sleepovers and the play rehearsals. A moment wherein her very being opened the doors, snagged them by the hands, and pulled them so deep within her she’ll never be rid of them again. To become integral parts of her. Except they are gone. And she did this. She did this to herself because she loves them and she wants them to be happy. But they each grabbed a piece of her heart as she shoved them out the doors, and now she longs for them like nothing she’s ever felt before. Christine knows who she is. She’s never been interested in romantic partners. Sure, she loves romance stories. They make for good plays…sometimes. When done right, of course. But she’s never wanted that for herself, and she still doesn’t. But she knows that Michael and Jeremy are important to her. So important she’d stay by their sides forever if they’d let her. She wants them in her life, in her future. She wants a future with them. And it used to be easy to imagine. The three of them, side by side by side, off into the great big world. To college, to university, to different states, to different countries. Just the three of them. But now all she sees is the two of them, and then her. They’ll be off doing something or other. Something great, something spectacular. And she’s left behind because of the three she’s the easiest to say goodbye to. She’s the easiest to leave behind now. The most… expendable. Their world is not a three player game. Maybe it never was. She clutches her heart in her fists and begs it not to break, not to cave in on itself even as it feels so empty. As she sits next to her two best friends who don’t know how she’s hurting. And she can’t bring herself to talk to them. What would she say? Is there still room for me? Is there still time for me? The two of you are on a whole new journey together, you’re having a wonderful time, gearing up for a wonderful life, but take this moment to think about me me me. It sounds so selfish to her own ears. So self absorbed.  
‘’Honey, are you okay?’’ her mother asks, standing by her door. Christine comes back to herself, the ceiling coming back into focus.  
‘’I’m fine.’’ she lies. Can tell by her own voice that her mother won’t buy it.  
‘’You know you can talk to me about anything, right?’’ her mother says, and Christine sighs, smiles as she turns to look at her.  
‘’I know mom, I just need to…think a bit first. Figure it out some more I guess. I don’t know.’’ she covers her face with her arm in defeat, listens to the floor creak as her mother steps closer. The bed dips and she can feel the presence of another body. Her mother leans down and kisses what’s exposed of her forehead.  
‘’Take your time sweetie, I’ll be here when you’re ready.’’ she says, voice warm and gentle like the summer that inhabits her. It makes Christine feel a little better.  
‘’Thanks mom.’’ she says as the presence leaves the bed. She listens to the footsteps as they exit her bedroom, close the door, and pad down the hallway to the other bedroom. She chances a glance at there phone. 9 pm. A few texts from Michael and Jeremy. She sighs, rolls over and hugs a pillow to her chest. Thinks of the video games and the snacks and the companionship she gave up for…this. For lying in bed and moping. She buries her face in the pillow and wills the tears away.

The night is dark and all encompassing, her bedroom bathed in the yellow glow of streetlights when Christine wakes up. She hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep. Her phone blinds her for a moment before she adjusts the brightness, and it tells her it’s 2am. Great. She sighs, struggles out of the enticing warmth of her bed to put on something a little more comfortable. She rummages around in her drawers until she finds her favorite flannel pajamas. She hurriedly puts them on to avoid the slight chill of her room, before turning tail and heading back to the comfort of her bed. She stops in front of her window though. She can see the moon trough the glass. Silvery and beautiful. A perfect half circle. It makes her freeze in her tracks, the sight of it, the siren call of it, the suddenly intensifying sound of something calling out to her. The light gets brighter brighter brighter until she sees nothing but silver. It bathes her in stardust, and she feels her feet start to lift off of the ground. As if she’s weightless. Something strokes along her cheek and she realizes her hair is floating around her. Like gravity has no hold on her now. Her eyes lock onto the thin outline of the half circle she can still see, and the light reaches for her with almost tangible limbs. Grasps her by the shoulders and dives into her chest. Inside the cavity of her being, of her soul, it finds something and holds it tight. Then it pulls. It’s not painful, far from it. It’s…freeing. Like letting something go. Like releasing something that has been pent up for far too long. She didn’t even know she had felt it, but now that it’s gone? Christine has never felt as free as this. Floating in her bedroom at 2am, surrounded by cosmic energy and embraced by a part of herself she didn’t know she’d been missing so badly. The light leaves much slower than it had come. It lowers her back to the floor, plays with her hair on the way out, dimming little by little until the normal glow of the moon is all that’s left.Still she doesn't feel the absence of it. Quite on the contrary, she feels its presence more keenly than ever. Is this what Michael feels every day? Oh. Michael. Sun. Holy shit she’s the moon. Christine is the moon and Michael is the sun and she might be freaking out just a little. Why now? What is she supposed to do now? She glances from the moon to her bed, and back to the moon.  
‘’I’m going back to bed.’’ she finally concludes, crawling under the covers trying to warm up her frozen toes. This is a problem for future-more-awake-Christine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter gets...personal for me  
> because i write christines conflict from my own perspective  
> and i know i'll be happy, and that's the future i believe in  
> so on that note, i want you to know for a fact that this fic has a happy ending  
> as i keep saying; i'm a sucker for a happy ending!!  
> thank you for reading!!


	6. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I peer across the valley of time and space, I find you looking back at me, and I know that I am safe. I know that I am loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISED A HAPPY END AND I DELIVER  
> at least i hope it lives up to any expectations??  
> lol yeah hi i'm so fucking tired  
> hope u like it  
> i'm a sap, but that's not rly news

Christine hates her 2am self. Her 2am self is not a good decision maker. Her 2am self left all her problems to be dealt with by present Christine, and present Christine is not in the mood to deal with this added level of complicatedness to her already far too complicated relationship. She closes her eyes against the invading morning sun, turns over and buries her face in her pillow before screaming just a little. The heaviness in her chest from yesterday is back. The lump at the back of her throat. The pain in her heart. She picks up her phone.

From: Mikey  
hey chris! still room for p3 if u change ur mind!

From: Mikey  
i just crushed jere in mario kart haha rekt

From: Jere  
pls tell michael to stop gloating he won’t listen to me, you’re my only hope

From: Mikeyis he texting u too??

From: Jere  
save me Chris Cannula, whomever the fuck u r, ur my only hoe

From: Jere  
ur not a hoe, but ur still my only hope

From: Mikey  
haha he totally is, tell him he’s a looooooser

While the first couple text messages are from early in the evening, the last ones are from around 1 am when she’d been asleep. They make her smile. They make her heart hurt worse. They won’t let her go, she sees that. No matter how much she pushes them away. She lets go of everything, for a moment, to just feel. She feels…lighter. Not emotionally, but physically. She feels expanded beyond her usual borders. She feels a pull like nothing she’s ever felt before. Just a small tug in her chest, something that points her in a very specific direction. She knows what lies in that direction. Michaels house. She’s…she’s the moon. She belongs with him. She wants to belong with him, and the entire universe just hit her in the head with a giant neon sign that basically says ‘go to him you big idiot’. Go to them. You need them. They need you. Christine briefly thinks of Brooke. Brooke who has seen so much and knows things beyond her earthly years. Was she right after all? It’s tearing her apart, all these conflicting thoughts and emotions. And she wants it to be simple again. She wants things to be…easy. Like they used to be. Like-  
‘’Should I get Jeremy?’’ Christine asks, just edging on panicked, as Michael pants. Clinging to her, catching his breath in the bak of the auditorium. The only quiet place Christine had thought of when she’d stumbled across her panicking friend in the hallway. She’d lead him there with an arm around him and his hands fisted in her jacket. They still are. He’s a little calmer now, able to talk. He takes a deep breath, tries to keep the shakiness out of his voice.  
‘’No.’’ is all he gets out before he gets choked off. She takes a minute to breathe rhythmically, letting him match her.  
‘’Are you sure?’’ she asks again, just to be safe. Jeremy is always the one Michael goes to, if he can. And vice versa. She feels out of her depth right now, as if she’s more in the way than any real help. Michael takes a deep breath, smiles. Does’t turn to look at her but she knows why and it’s okay. She can still feel the warm friendliness of the smile, and knows it’s directed at her.  
‘’Yeah. He has a life outside of my panic attacks, it’s cool. Besides,’’ Michael pauses, his neck twitching a little. Finally he turns his face towards her, letting his cheek collapse into her shoulder. It’s…an uncomfortable position, but nice all the same. She leans her own head on top of his soft dark hair. Gives his hand a squeeze where it’s cradled in both of hers.  
‘’I’ve got you.’’ he says finally, and it gives her pause, but only for a moment. It’s so easy to just open her mouth and say,  
‘’Yeah, you do. Always.’’  
Because it was true. Is true. Will always be true. She gets out of bed.

The house is quiet, and when she gets down to the kitchen she realizes why. A note on the fridge pinned up with a small green frog magnet, her mothers swirly penmanship stating-  
‘Emergency at work, will be back before dinner. Love you <3’  
Christine sighs, opening the door and grabbing the milk. She pours her cereal trying not to let the screaming swirling mess of confusing emotions in the back of her head take over. She just needs some food, and maybe some tea, and then she’ll deal with it. She’ll text Michael. Yeah. Good plan. She sits down with her cereal and…can’t bring herself to eat it. She gets up to make tea instead. She grabs a mug from the cabinet, a teabag from the jar, flicks the switch for the electric kettle before trying to remember where they keep the honey. The tea is ready and done in five minutes, but far too warm to drink, so she picks it up and brings it into the living room. She sets it down on the table and flops down onto the sofa, reaching for the remote she flicks on the tv, flipping channels until she finds Animal Planet. The cereal sits forgotten in the kitchen, but she’s not hungry, so she lets it go.  
‘’The lemon shark maintains a social network throughout its life, they have individuals that they prefer to follow and have social interactions with. They basically have friends! These relationships last-‘’ she switches the channel. 

‘’Have you noticed anything…weird, about Christine lately?’’ Jeremy asks him once they’ve had, well it’s not breakfast even thought it’s their first meal of the day, closer to something like an early dinner really. They’re back in the beanbags, no games started yet. It’s closing in on 7pm already, and Jeremy would be more annoyed with sleeping away most of his Saturday if he hand’t spent most of the previous night playing video games with his boyfriend.  
‘’Other than that she seems to be ditching us any chance she gets?’’ Michael retorts. He knows it’s snappy but he can’t help it. Not if Jeremy really wants to open this can of worms.  
‘’I mean, yeah kinda, but she just seems kinda…distant?’’ Jeremy keeps saying, and Michael feels a pinch of annoyance. Not at Jeremy, but at Christine, because she won’t tell them what’s going on.  
‘’Yeah well until she decides to talk about it, it’s none of my business.’’ he concludes, and Jeremy frowns.  
‘’That’s not like you.’’ Jeremy says. It’s not an accusation exactly, but it’s close enough to make Michael pause.  
‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’ he asks, finally turning away from the shelf of games to look at the other boy. He crosses his arms over his chest and Jeremy huffs a little.  
‘’It means,’’ Jeremy starts, getting up and approaching him,  
‘’This is more than just Christine. Usually you do everything you can to help us out, and now you’re suddenly gonna mind your own business? That doesn’t sound like the Michael I know and love.’’ Jeremy explains, coming to a stop in front of said boy. Michael sighs, deflates just a little.  
‘’I can’t help but feel it’s my fault.’’ Michael confesses, the tension in his arms seeping out until he’s sort of just holding around himself instead of crossing his arms. His hands grip the sleeves of his sweater. Jeremy reaches one hand out to lay on top of one white knuckled fist.  
‘’We were fine before…this. Us. You and me. She said so herself. We would be fine. But now she’s just…disappearing. And I don’t know why.’’ Michael says, and Jeremys heart breaks over the sadness in his boyfriends voice. The lost expression on his face. They’re missing an integral part of their trio, and it shows.  
‘’Maybe she’s giving us space? To figure stuff out?’’ Jeremy suggests halfheartedly, running his thumb over Michaels hand in a soothing motion.  
‘’How do we tell her we don’t need it.’’ Michael asks him, finally looking into Jeremys eyes properly.  
‘’Come back?’’ Jeremy asks, simple and not, all in one. It makes Michael giggle just a little.  
‘’Very eloquent.’’ he teases, Jeremy snorts at him. Michaels face falls and he lets out a sigh, running a hand tough his hair.  
‘’You think that might work? What if she really doesn’t want to hang out with us anymore?’’ Michael wonders out loud, eyes far off again. Jeremy reaches his free hand up to cradle Michaels warm cheek, turning his face towards him.  
‘’Then that’s her choice, but if we don’t put up a fight to keep her, what does that tell her?’’ Jeremy says, smiling just a little. Michael turns his face further into the warm palm.  
‘’Why do you have to be so smart?’’ he finally whispers into Jeremys hand, a small smirk playing on his lips.  
‘’I’m not though.’’ Jeremy says, laughter in his voice.  
‘’Shut your face.’’ Michael retorts.  
‘’No.’’ Jeremy snaps back, smile growing just a little. His heart lighter from seeing his boyfriend smile. Michael pauses, his face turning more serious.  
‘’Y’know, she’s the one who told me nothing had to change after what happened. Like, with you and me.’’ he says, unwinding his arms from around himself to settle them around Jeremys waist instead.  
‘’What do you mean?’’ Jeremy asks, letting Michael pull him closer. Michael settles his head on Jeremys shoulder, and Jeremy lets his arms rest around Michaels shoulders. Turning his face into Michaels soft brown hair.  
‘’I was…scared. About what everything meant for our relationship. Scared of change. And she pointed out that nothing really had to change. We could just be us. We didn’t have to be anything else.’’ Michael says, his breath ghosting across Jeremys neck in warm puffs.  
‘’And did you tell her she was part of that?’’ Jeremy asks him, reaching up and running his fingers trough the hair at Michaels nape.  
‘’I guess I assumed she knew?’’ Michael says, voice raising to make it a question, his uncertainty clear.  
‘’Hmm.’’ Jeremy hums back, planting a soft kiss on top of Michaels head.  
‘’Lets just, let’s just play until we work up the courage to call her and ask if she wants to come over.’’ Michael concludes, and Jeremy nods.

 

‘’You call.’’ Michael says, trying to hand his phone off to Jeremy.  
‘’No, you do it.’’ Jeremy argues back, avoiding the phone. Michael keeps trying to force it into his hands.  
‘’It was your idea!’’ Jeremy finally yells, arms raised in a surrender position and leaning as far back as he can in his beanbag.  
‘’It was definitely your idea!’’ Michael yells back, leaning further over.  
‘’Not to call her.’’ Jeremy snaps.  
‘’I-‘’ Michael begins but is cut off when his phone rings. When he sees the caller id he answers without a second thought.  
‘’Christine! Hey! We were just about to call you.’’ he says into the phone, Jeremy looking on as a captive audience, arms hanging limply in the air.  
‘’Really?’’ Christine asks on the other end, one hand tangled in her hair from nervously pulling at it while she’d worked up the nerve to call. She’s still pacing across her bedroom floor.  
‘’Yeah! What’s up?’’ Michael asks, for lack of something better to say. Jeremy gives him a look and Michael can only shrug helplessly back.  
‘’Oh uh, I just…I wanted to…ask what’s up?’’ Christine says, her voice unsure and strained, completely forgetting everything she’d meant to say. She wants to hit herself over the head, just a little.  
‘’Uuuuuh, nothing much over here. Gaming marathon still going strong even though we passed out at like four am and woke up at like, what was it?’’ Michael trails off, looking to Jeremy for back up.  
‘’Like four pm dude, solid twelve hours.’’ Jeremy supplies, lowering his arms to his lap and leaning towards Michael to try and listen in on the conversation.  
‘’Right! Like twelve hours straight. That’s what we get I guess.’’ Michael says, a small awkward laugh trailing off the end of the sentence.  
‘’Ha, sounds…like a disaster.’’ Christine says, a small almost sad smile on her face. Wistful. She wants to be there, she does.  
‘’The best kind.’’ Michael confirms.  
‘’Yeah.’’ Christine agrees, because how can she not.  
‘’Hey, uh, the invitation still stands y’know?’’ Michael says, making eye contact with Jeremy again. Jeremy smiles encouragingly.  
‘’Huh?’’ is Christines intelligent reply.  
‘’If you wanna come over. You can just…come.’’ Michael says, his confidence ebbing out just a little. Jeremy lays a hand on his knee, gives him another encouraging nod.  
‘’Oh! Yeah thanks but I-‘’ Christine begins, excuse at the ready, just a moment away form declining. Her mouth stops working, her brain halting for just a second. She can do it, it’s just a simple no and she won’t have to think about it until Monday. She can sleep away her weekend and let this problem be future-Christines problem. She opens her mouth,  
‘’Yeah. Yeah I’ll come over.’’ is what she says, surprising both herself and Michael.  
‘’Really?’’ he asks, almost in disbelief, but the joy comes through so clear it makes her heart do a little flip. Just a little.  
‘’Yeah, I’ll see you in a bit.’’ she says before she can back out again, doesn’t wait for him to say goodbye or anything, just hangs up and continues pacing.  
‘’Why did I do that?’’ she asks herself out loud, dropping her phone on her bed so she can get the full dramatic experience of gripping her hair with both hands.  
‘’See y- she hung up.’’ Michael says, turning to Jeremy.  
‘’But she’s coming?’’ Jeremy asks, just to make sure. A smile spreads across Michaels face.  
‘’Yeah.’’ he says, and an answering grin spreads across Jeremys face too.

‘’Hey.’’ Christine says when Michael opens the front door. It’s almost terribly awkward and nothing like the easy back and forth they’ve built up over the time they’ve known each other.  
‘’Hey.’’ he says back, just as awkward. He steps aside to let her in, and she hangs up her denim jacket, toes off her untied boots.  
‘’Jeremy’s downstairs.’’ Michael says, heading for the door leading to the cellar. Christine feels like she’s on fire, all the words she wants to say burning in her chest, expanding beyond her ribcage. He’s right there. Just say it.  
‘’Mikey?’’ she says, small and vulnerable. She sounds pathetic to her own ears, almost on the verge of tears. It grabs his attention before the word is even fully out of her mouth. He takes a step closer to her where they stand in the hallway. Between the front door and the door to the basement. Two paths splintering off in different directions. Two outcomes.  
‘’Chrissy?’’ he asks her back, prompting her to keep going.  
‘’Can I…can I talk to you?’’ she asks, wincing a little at her own bad phrasing. They’re already talking…kind of.  
‘’Yeah sure, of course!’’ he says immediately, taking another step closer to her. Closing the distance between them. She can feel the warmth he radiates. Friendly. Comforting. Safe.  
‘’What’s wrong?’’ he asks her when she doesn’t keep talking. It startles her just a little.  
‘’Nothing’s…wrong.’’ she says, knowing he won’t believe it for a second.  
‘’Are you sure? Cus it sounds like something’s up.’’ he says, predictably so. He’s so close now, if he reached out he could pull her into a hug.  
‘’Well yeah, kinda.’’ she admits finally. It feels both good and terrible.  
‘’Is it a bad thing?’’ Michael asks, eyebrows furrowing.  
‘’…kinda?’’ Christine says, drawing the word out, it makes Michael smile, but his eyebrows are still furrowed in concern.  
‘’You don’t sound very sure.’’ he says.  
‘’I’m not.’’ Christine replies.  
‘’But you’re sure it’s not a good thing?’’ Michael asks, grasping at straws.  
‘’I don’t know!’’ she erupts, and Michael takes a small step back in alarm.  
‘’Sorry.’’ he says quickly, Christine winces, gaze falling to the floor. Her hair obscures her view of him, and it makes it a little easier.  
‘’No no, I’m sorry, I’m just…I’ve been thinking about a lot of things and then this happened and now I just don’t know anymore and I’m…I’m sorry.’’ she rambles, bring one hand up to push her hair out of her face.  
‘’Why are you apologizing?’’ he asks her, his voice pure confusion, and it makes her smile.  
‘’Michael…I’m the moon.’’ she says, glancing up at him. His face goes slack, disbelieving.  
‘’Christine that’s…’’ he starts, and here it comes she thinks. Here comes…something. But she can’t bring herself to hope.  
‘’That’s amazing!’’ he yells, a smile as bright as then sun stretching across his face, eyes shining with joy. It’s too much, the tears start falling.  
‘’Oh no no no, don’t cry. What’s wrong?’’ he says, face falling and reaching for her. She wants to step back but she can’t find her muscles, lost all mobility and all thoughts beyond trying not to break out into sobs. Trying desperately to just keep breathing.  
‘’Chrissy, please. Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.’’ he whispers into her hair as he embraces her, voice warm and kind, like a caress of a summer breeze against her cheek, trying to dry the tears away. His arms are warm, like a campfire, keeping the shadows and all the terrors in the dark at bay. She wants to stay here forever, in his arms, safe from the outside world. But she knows she can’t.  
‘’Mikey. I’m so sorry.’’ she forces out, tires to push against him but finds her hands only hold on tighter to the fabric of his sweater, and he pulls her even closer.  
‘’Shhh, no. No don’t apologize. I don’t even know what you’re apologizing for but you don’t really have anything to apologize for so just…shush. It’s okay. Just breathe. Take your time. It’s okay.’’ he mutters into her hair, and she lets herself go. Lets herself enjoy the embrace.  
‘’Are you guys- oh.’’ comes Jeremys voice from the door to the basement. He stops at the sight of them. Goes silent as he approaches carefully.  
‘’Wanna go sit down?’’ Michael asks her, and she nods. Letting herself be lead down to the basement by Michael, a worried Jeremy flitting around nervously behind them, wanting to say something, do anything to help, but not finding anything. Michael leads her over to his bed, sitting down next to her and indicating for Jeremy to sit on the other side of her. She feels more than sees him do so, and once that other presence is there, once she’s surrounded by her favorite people, she starts feeling more at ease.

‘’I’m sorry.’’ is what she opens with, because the silence is tearing her apart and she can’t deal with it, can’t deal with their disappointment.  
‘’No no, we should apologize!’’ Jeremy immediately says, Michael nodding with vigor.  
‘’You're our best friend, you should never feel left out.’’ Michael adds, leaning into her right side.  
‘’But-‘’ she begins, but Jeremy is quick to cut her off.  
‘’No buts.’’ he says firmly, leaning into her left side.  
‘'Christine, we love you, and if you ever doubted that, that’s on us. And we'll get better at showing it. Promise.’’ Michael says, and she feels Jeremy nod along against her shoulder. She begs the tears not to start again, seeing as she can still feel the tracks on her cheeks from earlier.  
‘’I love you guys. I do. I just…feel like I’m in the way? And I know, I know that’s not true. But I can’t help it, and it sounds so selfish complaining about it to you guys, but I just-‘’ she cuts herself off, afraid of where her rambling might lead her if she keeps going.  
‘’Christine, you’re so important to us. I can’t imagine a future without you.’’ Jeremy says sincerely.  
‘’Neither can I. I meant it when I said you were stuck with us, with me.’’ Michael adds. Christine takes a long shaky breath.  
‘’Sure?’’ she asks, voice a little choked up.  
‘’Always.’’ the two of them respond in tandem, and she raises her arms to put them around her boys. Her two boys. Suddenly very tired, she yawns. Jeremy giggles.  
‘’Sorry-‘’ she begins only to be cut off.  
‘’I said no sorries!’’ Jeremy say trough his giggles. She pokes him in the side to make him squeal.  
‘’As I was saying.’’ she continues once Jeremy has caught his breath. She can feel Michael shaking from silent laughter on her other side.  
‘’I’m so tired.’’ she finishes.  
‘’Yeah, same. Emotions.’’ Michael says, having reigned in his laughter.  
‘’We’re literally sitting on a bed.’’ Jeremy says, leaning back until he’s laying down, legs dangling over the edge.  
‘’Very well observed.’’ Michael says sarcastically, earning a half hearted swat from Jeremy. His arm thumps harmlessly against the covers, not long enough to reach.  
‘’It’s like 11 pm though.’’ Christine says, looking at her phone.  
‘’Damn.’’ Jeremy says, scooting over on the bed until he’s lying in it properly, closest to the wall. Christine makes as if to get up, but Michael holds onto her.  
‘’Where are you going?’’ he asks.  
‘’Uuuuh, home? I guess?’’ she answers, Jeremy shakes his head no.  
‘’Nope, you’re sleeping here. Emotional confessions are always followed by sleep and cuddling.’’ Michael declares.  
‘’Yeah, you guys are the experts when it comes to that.’’ Christine says with a smile, Jeremy goes a little red, but otherwise just pats the space next to him.  
‘’Exactly, so listen to the experts.’’ he says, reaching for her a little. She glances to Michael, who only gives her a small push so he can get into the bed properly too. She scoots closer to Jeremy, her back against him, and he slings an arm over her. Michael hits the light switch next to his bed and places his glasses on the bedside table before laying down in front of her. He throws an arm around her too, letting it lie next to Jeremys. Only the streetlights shining through the small slots generously labelled windows illuminate the room, casting long odd shadows across Michaels face as he looks at her.  
‘’I know I said it already, but I’m…I’m so happy you’re the moon. I couldn’t imagine it being anyone else.’’ he tells her, and if she wasn’t already exhausted from crying she’s pretty sure she’d start crying again.  
‘’Thanks for forgiving me.’’ she says, not knowing what else to say. Jeremys arm twitches.  
‘’Of course, you didn’t actually do anything wrong.’’ he says, then he lifts himself so he can look at her face.  
‘’But never do that again please.’’ he finishes, sincerely, and Christine smiles at him as he settles back down, pulling the covers over the three of them as he goes. He settles back in, a warm comfort against her back.  
‘’Promise.’’ she tells them both. Michael hums, and when she looks at him his eyes are closed already. He looks...peaceful.

She wakes up slowly, the grey dawn washing the whole room in a muted light. She’s warm, caught in the middle of two warm bodies. Michaels head is on her right shoulder, her arm feels a little dead but she really doesn’t want to move it. One of his legs is slung over one of her own, and one of his hands is clutching the fabric of the t-shirt she fell asleep in. Like she’ll float away if he doesn’t. The other hand is holding Jeremys hand, his arm slung over her stomach. Michaels hair is a mess and he’s kinda drooling a little, but she doesn’t mind. Jeremys head is resting against her ribcage on the left, both his arms wrapped around her midsection. He’s curled up tight, but looks at peace. His face is flushed lightly, and his eyebrows are drawn a little. She lifts her left arm and settles her fingers in his hair. The tension melts away little by little, until he’s softly snoring. She falls asleep again. The next time she wakes up the light is a little more golden, indicating the sun has finally risen, but she doesn’t feel inclined to do so herself quite yet. She settles back in, content with the thought of falling back asleep when Jeremy shuffles.  
‘’Wha’times’it?’’ he slurs, face smooshed against her side. ‘’No idea.’’ she replies in a tired drawl. Michael stirs on her other side, reaching blindly for the bedside table, grabbing his phone and holding it up for Christine to see instead of actually looking himself. She reads the upside down numbers.  
‘’9 am.’’ she says, and the two boys groan in unison.  
‘’Too early.’’ Michael whines, Jeremy nodding.  
‘’I vote we stay in bed all day.’’ Christine suggests, letting herself melt into the warmth of the duvet.  
‘’Stay.’’ Jeremy pipes up.  
‘’Stay.’’ Michael echoes.  
‘’Stay it is.’’ Christine says, closing her heavy eyelids once more, feeling weightless and happy. Radiant. Their arms tighten around her for a moment, hugging her close. She could stay here forever, probably, because they’ll let her. They want her to. Her heart sings even as conscious thought slips away from her.  
‘’Swear we’ll stay.’’ Michael murmurs softly, a promise made halfway between awake and sleeping, but weightier and more meaningful than anything she’s ever heard. She succumbs to sleep once more, a smile on her face. Feeling whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO  
> that was it  
> that's the end of the series  
> thanks to everyone who's kept up with it, thanks to everyone who has read this entire damn thing  
> i had a lot of fun writing it  
> just, thanks, so much  
> it means a lot to me
> 
> find me on tumblr @actual-cryptid-leshy


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